[for Neil]

[more_flexible]

[continued from here]

Sucking in a breath through gritted teeth, Jack arched into Neil's fingernails.

"No marks," he warned, pulling back enough to worm his hand between them and undo Neil's jeans, palm slipping inside. "Christ," he hissed, stroking once firmly before pulling back enough to slide under the elastic to take hold. Kisses fell again over neck and shoulders and collarbones, sucking softly and licking before moving on to another space.

Comments

[little_moons]

I pull my hands back, momentarily confused and then disappointed. But the disappointment is short lived, and I cry out as I arch under him again, practically squirming on the mattress. Without the hold on skin, I don't trust myself to be careful, my hands tangle in his hair, my eyes blinking open to stare blankly at the ceiling. But I don't find what I'm looking for there either.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack moaned low and deep as Neil's fingers moved through his hair. Moving lower, he kissed down his breastbone and teased the edge of his ribcage with the tip of his tongue.

Jack looked up the length of Neil's body to see his face before he continued lower, nipping at the pliant flesh of his stomach while he worked to get his pants out of the way.

[little_moons]

My head tipping back, I gasp out softly as I twitch under the touches, and I bite my lip hard as my face twists up almost like I'm in pain. Not pain though. He's good at this. Practiced. I've heard things, everyone has. Another notch on the bed post, and I'm fine with being that. It makes in impersonal, which is good. No attachment. Even better. Maybe I've had enough of that for a while.

Rolling up onto my elbows, I look down at him, tongue darting out over my bottom lip as my hands fall away from his hair. Just watching. Forcing myself to watch. I don't know why that's important all the sudden. I just didn't like where my mind was wondering.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He tugged the pants off and let them fall, mouth taking in every sliver of warm skin, breathing him in and exhaling just to keep his own need in check. Tongue and lips and teeth and sucking kisses over hips and bones and thighs and skin, spiraling in until he pressed palms to the bed and pushed up to look Neil in the eye.

"Do you have diseases?"

Something in his expression made it clear that it didn't really matter what the answer was.

[little_moons]

"None that I know of," I answer, arching a brow at him, sprawled out naked and feeling more exposed than I think I ever have, but I'm pretty good at hiding it.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Perfect," Jack murmured, licking his lips and dropping low. His tongue circled Neil's cock just enough to get it wet and, without warning, he took hold of the sides of his hips and took him deep.

Practiced wasn't even the word for what he could do with his mouth. He turned his head to the side since it seemed like Neil wanted to watch; he could put on a hell of a show with his lips swelling more every second and his cheeks sucking in every time he drew back.

[little_moons]

Crying out in surprise, I fall back on the mattress, my eyes squeezing shut again... and good fucking God. Yeah, okay. That's really really good. So fucking good. And for one perfect, miraculous moment my mind goes completely blank.

But it's weird how the strangest things'll pop into you're head when they just aren't wanted there. I guess this one isn't so strange. Charlie, on that bed in that cheap hotel room. His false kindness and his big hands and clumsy mouth. All the ones in between. The same one for months and months and now... Now all that's just gone and all the sudden I feel like I'm going to break.

"Fuck... Jack, just- Wait. I-" I gasp out, pushing at his shoulders, a wave of embarrassment crashing over me as I try to scramble away from him.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He let go and pushed up, blue eyes no longer hungry. He wasn't stupid, he could tell Neil was keyed up from the moment he'd laid eyes on him today. He'd half expected him to balk sooner.

Jack shifted from between Neil's legs and dropped beside him, reaching over to pull the blanket over him so he wasn't bare-ass naked. "Hey. Relax. Really," he said, smiling easily as he ran his fingers through his hair to get it back in place. "No isn't the worst thing I've ever heard, Neil. It's okay."

[little_moons]

I end up still sprawled across the mattress, the heels of my hands pressing against my eyes until I see sparks of white behind my eyelids, trying desperately to calm my breathing. The shuddering gasps and shit are really pathetic.

"Fuck," I grind out, pulling my hands away and rolling up onto my elbows, already scanning the room for my clothes.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack laid his hand lightly on Neil's back when he sat up. "You don't have to go, Neil," he said gently. "Did I do something wrong?"

[little_moons]

I tense under the touch, which is fucking ridiculous since he just had my dick in his mouth. Letting out one last shuddering sigh, I murmur, "No. It's- I fucked up. I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have come up here," rubbing my hands over my face with a frustrated groan.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He didn't pull away, ever when he felt him tighten up all over again. "You didn't fuck up...sometimes sex helps," he said, like he just knew. "You don't have to run out, you know. Oh, I think your shirt's off the end," he continued. "This because you used to hustle...or because you haven't in a long time?"

[little_moons]

I crane my neck around to look at him, my face twisting up in surprise. I don't remember telling him that. I guess I forgot how guys just used to know. I could always just stand in the corner of a bar and they'd come to me. Easy.

But something tells me there's a little more to it with this guy.

"I- I don't know..." I say, settling on an answer that's not quite an answer but it's the best one I've got.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Definitely more to it than Neil would probably ever guess. Jack rubbed his hand across Neil's shoulders once and sat up to reach for his own shirt. "It gets easier, you know. The longer you don't. It never goes away, but it does get easier to go to bed with someone for the fun of it instead of other reasons," he said as the t-shirt slipped over his head.

[little_moons]

"I can fuck someone for the fun of it. Just not..." I shake my head, deciding to be angry instead of all the other things I'm feeling. Angry at no one. Just... whatever.

Just not right now. Not two days after... I haven't even heard a word from him. I don't even know where he is or why he left or even if he's... fuck, if he's okay. I don't know a god damn thing and I never should've come up here.

Snatching my jeans off the foot of the bed, I pull them on as quickly as I can, practically clambering over the edge of the bed in search of my shirt.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He licked his lips before wiping his mouth with his hand. He could still taste Neil, but the moment for that was gone. Doubly so as he watched him scramble to get dressed again.

"Neil, when was the last time you slept?" Jack asked evenly.

[little_moons]

"I don't fucking know," I answer, breathing out an exasperated sigh as I shrug on my shirt, straightening up and flicking my hair of of my face before starting in on the buttons, fumbling miserably. "What the fuck do you care?" I ask, giving him that profoundly confused look again.

From the get-go, the only interest he's ever shown was in fucking me, and I know how that works. Questions don't usually enter into that equation.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack sighed and pushed off the bed, standing in front of Neil. "Stop," he said, his tone strong and even and begging no argument. "I don't fucking care, but you're going home with pretty much a stranger, flipping out over a blow job, and now you can't button your shirt."

Jack caught the side of Neil's neck in his hand and held on firmly. He looked at him directly, his eyes boring into him. "No one knows you're here and no one comes in if the door is shut. You can crash," he said, nodding toward the bed.

"Or..." his tone rose, "...not."

[little_moons]

I tense under the touch, staring back at him stubbornly, already feeling my resolve cracking until all that's left is embarrassment and shame. And maybe a little bit of guilt, though I have no fucking clue what I have to feel guilty about.

"I can't stay here," I tell him simply with as much confidence as I can muster, which sadly isn't all that much. He's practically staring through me, and all the sudden I feel caged, suffocated, and all I want to do is go home. But home doesn't feel so much like home anymore... Maybe I'll stay with George for a few days.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

If he had to pinpoint a moment when he realized that he really had changed, he'd have to choose right now. He could feel himself harden inside, his spine straightening as his gut turned to stone. He'd been trying to prove to himself that he could just take. Not give a shit about anyone but himself.

That really bit him in the ass.

He hadn't realized how young Neil was until right now. He came off older. Jaded. But here he was and Jack looked through him and it wasn't like he could read his mind...but he knew that voice. And that voice and those eyes and Jack finally knew that Ianto and Gwen were right.

"You can," he said, and that was that, "because whether you want to admit it or not, you need somebody to help right now. Hate me when you're rested. I don't care. But go lay down,Neil," he ordered.

[little_moons]

If it was possible, I tense even more, and I have to struggle not to shrink in on myself. Not to just follow orders. That would be so easy, and I've always sorta been good at that. Maybe Logan was right. Maybe I do want someone around to tell me what to do.

Pulling away from him I sit down on the edge of the bed, just because he's blocking the door and there's really nowhere else to go, everything about my body language uncomfortable. I'm damn near skittish. But that doesn't stop the defiant tilt to my chin, and it doesn't stop my eyes narrow at him angrily. He's about twice as big as I am, and you'd have thought I'd have learned my lesson by now... Whatever. Maybe I just don't give a fuck.

"I can't stay here. I left my fucking dog at home. There's no one there to look after him. I can't stay here," I say again, ignoring that I'm basically pleading with him. I don't want to have to explain any more than that. Who the fuck does he think he is, anyway?

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack Fucking Harkness, that's who.

He drew his gaze from neil's face to his body, and even if it didn't seem like it, he really listened. Without another word, he turned to the side and opened the door before leaning, shirtless, against the wall.

"If you really wanna leave...go. If that's what you want," he purred.

[little_moons]

Christ, he's good. Really good, the fucking manipulative bastard, and it would be so easy and I'm just so fucking tired. Tired of fighting and tired of giving a shit. Just tired.

But there's something dangerous here, and it makes my stomach turn over in my gut, because I know that if I stay it's as good as giving up. It's only been two days.

Sucking in a sharp breath, I turn my face away, hiding that split second when something inside me cracks before I can get myself back under control. I push myself to my feet, looking around for my shoes before I realize I wasn't wearing any.

Stupid. Just fucking stupid.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack crossed his arms, still watching Neil. He could learn more from seeing him move in this moment than if he'd talked to him for an hour.

Everybody lies. That's what Greg believed. Jack was good enough at watching people to know that words might lie, but bodies spoke loud and clear.

"You weren't wearing any."

[little_moons]

"Whatever," I mumble, my arms folding defensively across my chest as I force the anger back. Because anger is easier than... whatever.

I brush past him and out the door, feeling like there's this weight crushing down on my chest- Fucking christ, I'm suffocating in this place- arms tightening around my middle like I'm trying to hold everything inside. Feeling that knowing look follow me out the door... The only way I get away from that voice is because I just don't give a fuck anymore. Numb. I've just got to get the fuck out... Logan's right, I've always been good at running from shit.