(no subject)

[more_flexible]

[After this]

Jack was normally so laid back. He didn't get upset the way Logan did, he didn't see anything wrong with having friends, caring about them, spending time with them. It was just natural to Jack to be social, to talk, to dance, to flirt a bit, to have...a life. He loved Logan and he did understand how the young man felt so passionately about him that it became jealousy. He wouldn't admit it but he genuinely liked that a little...knowing someone cared enough about him to be possessive. He'd been left behind and discarded so many times that it was good to feel...loved. Wanted.

Logan seemed to be under the mistaken impression that Jack didn't have the same feelings. He was just as possessive of his husband but he simply didn't show it in the same way. Most of the time he didn't need to. Logan wasn't exactly a social butterfly so Jack didn't have much reason to be jealous. He'd been jealous of Harry. God, had he been jealous. He'd been jealous of Veronica because of the history and the fact that he knew how Logan had loved her so much. He was even kind of jealous of Savannah. She looked like Lilly which was one damning detail...and she was carrying Logan's baby. Their baby- he always had to think that it would be Logan's and his, but she was...she was involved and Jack wondered just how Logan felt since he seemed to talk to the girl a lot.

And then there was Neil. Once again...there was history. There was love. Logan had assured Jack again and again that the past was the past and he knew, logically, that it was true and that he should accept it. Hell, he had a past and Logan didn't hold it against him. Okay, only kind of held it against him. But Neil...

Jack saw them out the window and overheard a bit. Heard Logan's warm and genuine invitation. Saw the way he looked at Neil. It sparked that rare jealousy and brought it to the surface. He had sense enough to stay out of it, but he was cleaning the bedroom, throwing things around and banging stuff far more than was necessary when Logan finally came in from sanding.

Comments

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Neil had left a while ago, and Logan looked dusty and tired as he wandered into the hut, hoping to take a cold show and then change into clean clothes.

The noise coming from the bedroom was more than enough to distract him though, and he peeked around the door.

"You know if you abuse the furniture too much you'll just have to pay for its therapy when it's older," he quipped, raising a curious brow and stepping into the bedroom. "You alright, man?" he asked curiously.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Fine," he snapped, pounding on the pillows and then throwing them on an immaculately made bed. He was rigid as he tried to control himself because he knew that how he felt wasn't fair. It didn't change the fact that he was on edge.

"Have fun out there?" he asked.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Uh- yeah, sanding is a fucking riot, man. In fact, I saved a whole door just for you," he laughed, looking genuinely confused by Jack's attitude.

"Seriously, man, if you're gonna be pissed with me, you need to give me a hint as to, uh, whatever I did this time. Is this because I didn't do the laundry? 'Cause I was going to, I just need to shower first..."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Oh, go right ahead. I'll just keep cleaning the house so when you and Neil want to hang out, you can. Want me to leave out some snacks so you two can watch porn and smoke pot? I promise I won't be in the way," he said sourly.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"You are kidding, right? This is all because I'm trying to be civil to my ex-husband? Jesus, Jack, the guy just lost Tom. He's got two kids, his husband just died, and now his-uh, other husband- just vanished. Which, of course, I had no fucking clue about and he didn't mention until I'd gushed about you and the baby," Logan sighed, rolling his eyes at Jack.

Secretly though, he was loving it. He'd have been nice to Neil no matter what, he really was trying to get back on good terms with his ex, but... Well, the fact that it seemed to make Jack jealous was an unexpected bonus. For once he wasn't the one being irrational and possessive.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Tom's vanished?" Jack asked, the pissy tone evaporating. He suddenly felt like a huge asshole.

But it didn't change the fact that he had this irrational feeling that had consumed him for the past hours. Jack quit banging things around but he continued to glower. He felt bad about Mike and Tom but the stupidly jealous part of him focused on one thing.

Neil was available.

"So...civil equals 'come over any time'?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I dunno, that's what people say, right?" Logan replied defensively. "What would you have said?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I don't know! Doesn't matter what I think," he shot back. "But I'm pretty sure if I invited my newly single, grieving, fragile ex to come over any time you'd have the same reaction. Right?"

Jack grabbed some laundry and hurled it across the room to the pile.

"Fuck, Logan, do you think I don't ever feel like...this? Is this how you feel all the time about me and people?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Only the ones you flirt with, dance with, used to fuck..."

He gave Jack a sharp look and then sighed as he softened, understanding how Jack felt- even if it was annoying.

"I'm not going to fuck Neil. I'm not interested in him like that at all. I never even thought about it, okay? I never think about anyone but you," he said honestly, pausing and then giving Jack a look. "Can you say the same?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack shot him a look so hateful that it was unfair it didn't actually hurt Logan when it fell on him.

"You really just asked me that," he said flatly. "Fuck you."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Fuck you," Logan shot back. "You know what, Jack? Forget it. Just forget it. I forgot that it's only wrong when I'm jealous."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I'm not saying this isn't wrong!" Jack shouted. "I know it's not fair and I try not to feel jealous like this but...fuck. Fuck! Yes, okay? Yes, once in a while I have a passing thought. A memory. But there's only you. I think about you. I love you. I have been working so hard to be a better husband and focus on you and us and this. And I think about you and anyone else and I get...I get..."

He turned around and hit the wall...and his knuckles split open. The sight of blood and the shock of pain made him forget for the moment how much it had made him ache to hear Logan and Neil. Making him forget that Logan had loved someone else enough to marry him.

"Shit," he said, a fraction more calmly. "I'm...sorry."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan flinched, watching Jack for a long moment and then letting out a sigh.

"I don't want him, Jack. I don't, okay? But I'm sick of not having any friends, and Neil- We used to have something. Our relationship was a mess, but- Sometimes I think it would be good to have him back in my life in some kinda way. You tell me all the time that I need more than just you. So I'm trying, you know? I'm trying to have more people in my life."

He looked at Jack's hand, frowning and stepping closer. "Jesus, Jack, you're bleeding.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I know," he said quietly. He knew Logan needed friends. He knew that he and Neil had something that would likely be easy to foster into friendship once again. He knew he kept telling Logan to get out there. And he knew he was bleeding. Two words seemed to cover it all.

"I need to go clean this up," he said as he started for the kitchen.

He wasn't very good at feeling like this. It hit so hard and so strong and he knew it wasn't fair but...but he just couldn't help it.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan followed along, even though Jack hadn't asked him to, and he stood behind the other man as he wrapped his arms around him.

"I love you," he said quietly. "You know that, right? I love you, Jack Harkness."

And this, to Logan, was what love was. Tears, bloodshed, anger- love. It was these moments that made him sure that what he and Jack had was real, and worth fighting to keep

Closing his eyes, he kissed the back of Jack's neck.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack exhaled softly and leaned back against Logan. His hand hurt and what had been an impulse was now something he regretted doing.

"I love you, too," he said quietly as he dabbed at his knuckles. "You...should have friends. I just..."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I know," Logan replied simply. "I know, okay?"

He held Jack a little tighter, then nuzzled his neck softly.

"Let me wrap your hand."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Logan could completely tame him with just a touch. Jack had been so pissed off and so petulant for so long and with just a soft embrace and a light nuzzle and he felt better.

"Okay," he agreed, turning so Logan could fix it. "I'm sorry I was a dick. But I'm not going to apologize for being jealous. I can't."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Didn't ask you too," Logan replied, reaching for the small first aid kit they kept, and starting to clean and wrap Jack's hand.

"It's nice," he admitted awkwardly. "It's nice to know you feel the same way I do."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I'm usually better at not showing it. I'm jealous more than you know," he admitted. "I don't show it, though, because I know you'd never..."

He sighed softly.

"I really feel like an asshole now."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Wait, when are you jealous?" he asked curiously, looking genuinely interested.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack leveled a look at him and pursed his lips.

"Do we really have to talk about this?" he asked.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"No, but I want to know," Logan replied honestly.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack sighed heavily. This was the sort of thing that he kept to himself.

"Harry," he said. "Neil. Veronica. Alcuin. He'd go to bed with you, you know. I'm jealous of your past. Jealous of what might happen. I..."

He swallowed hard.

"I'm jealous of what you've got with Savannah."