[for greg]

[more_flexible]

He'd been quiet on Friday and had left before the sun was up on Saturday. Now it was Sunday night and Jack was home. Ianto and Daniel had seen to it he made it to the hut and he knew he needed to tell Greg what was wrong--even if he really didn't want to think about it at all anymore.

He was also still stoned. Not as much as he'd been before, he was coming down and despeartely wished he wasn't. It made things easier. Blurred the edges, softened the ache.

There was light inside, and he could hear the dog land on the floor. He opened the door slowly and stepped inside.

"I'm back," he said quietly.

Comments

[misanthrope_md]

As soon as Padfoot had heard the footsteps on the porch, he'd vacated Jack's spot on the bed. House laid his book down on his lap and peered over his glasses at the door, assuming (and hoping) he'd see Jack walk through it.

It was almost a painfully domestic scene - or it would have been if House had seen himself from the outside. As it was, he was just wondering where the hell Jack had been for two days.

"I can see that," he replied to Jack's announcement.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He took the chair nearest to him, trying not to look at Greg laying there. Off came his boots, even with the interruption of the dog demanding attention and sniffing his jeans. "Hey, dog," he said softly, palming his head and shaking it a little. Jack obviously had something on his mind, he really was shit when it came to keeping things from Greg. It...it just took him some time.

"I'm a little stoned," he said without looking up. "I've had a shitty few days."

[misanthrope_md]

"I can tell," said House, in response to both.

Truth be told, he'd been starting to wonder, after two nights gone, if he was a shitty boyfriend for not worrying more - i.e. sending the cavalry after Jack. But House tended to work from patterns. And patterns of behavior said that - whether he'd said so or not - Jack was probably just taking one of his sabbaticals.

As usual, House was right. But it didn't make the past two days any less unpleasant.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Boots out of the way, he stood and stripped off the dirty clothes and tossed them in the corner, then walked around the bed and sat down. With his back to Greg, he still had a hard time getting the words to form, to give them any voice at all.

"It's been a year. I tried to go into the caves...I got stoned instead," he said evenly.

[misanthrope_md]

House looked confused at first, obviously thinking, A year...?, but then when he said "caves", it clicked. Had it really been that long?

"You could have told me," House sighed, and put a hand on Jack's back, just between his shoulderblades. "It's not like I don't know."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I know. I just thought...I thought...I don't know what I thought. That I could handle it. That you shouldn't have to deal with it, after everything else. I'm sorry."

[misanthrope_md]

"Everything else? Christ, Jack, what could be more important than..." Another sigh, his hand moving up to knead lightly at the tense muscles below Jack's neck.

"Did it help? Are you... okay?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack leaned back against the touch, then leaned back more. Before he realized he was even doing it, he'd twisted around and was holding Greg.

"It didn't help," he answered, arms encircling him. "I'm just as much of a mess."

[misanthrope_md]

"Is there anything I can do?" House asked awkwardly. He really sucked at this sort of thing.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"No," he replied, shaking his head. "Everyone says it's just going to take time. That I shouldn't expect to be okay. But I've been fine. I thought I was, anyway."

He let go and looked into Greg's eyes and stroked his cheek slowly. "God, you're beautiful. I couldn't remember where we lived so Ianto brought me home. I just wanted to come back to you."

[misanthrope_md]

House snorted a little. "Now I can really tell you're high."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I am," he smiled, fingers still grazing over the day's growth of stubble. "Doesn't mean I'm not in love with you, too."

[misanthrope_md]

"Well... good to know. Just try to leave a note next time, okay?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"You're not mad?" he asked, fingers moving lower, eyes following their path. Down his cheek, along his jaw, down his neck. "God, you're so beautiful."

[misanthrope_md]

"No, I'm not mad, just a little irritated that every time you do this you come back and apologize and say it won't happen again... Jack, you're high as a fucking kite."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"It'll keep happening. It'll keep happening because I can't fucking stand being stuck here, not able to see anything else or do anything else or go anyplace else," he rattled off still watching his fingers as they tugged the collar out of the way. "And I'm only high because I couldn't quit thinking about Faramir and the ropes and the dark. I hate the dark, baby. Hate it. I used to love it. Worked in space, you know. Space is dark."

[misanthrope_md]

House ignored the first part for now. "It's over now," he said. "It's over, he's gone, and no one is ever going to do anything like that to you again because they'll have to fucking go through me first."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"You mean it, don't you?" Jack asked, his eyes glassy and red, but so intensely blue.

[misanthrope_md]

"Of course I mean it," House said, frowning.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Would you kiss me?" he asked slowly, sitting perfectly still. Even his fingers had stopped moving.

[misanthrope_md]

"Don't be stupid, Jack," House muttered softly, and leaned forward and kissed him.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

As their lips touched, Jack froze, fear taking over his whole body. He was afraid that would happen. Cold washed over him, and he couldn't believe that he was right back where he'd started.

A year...son of a bitch.

[misanthrope_md]

And as soon as House felt Jack freeze, he froze too.

Then he pulled away, not meeting his eyes. "Look, Jack... whatever you need. Okay? You don't have to be here."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I don't want to be anywhere but here," he said, his eyes still closed. "I just want to be okay. I want to not go backwards. I want to be fixed. Not...this," he said, falling back to lay on his pillow. Part of him wished that he could just get an order, a command, and it'd all be okay. That he'd be fine.

"Just tell me I'm gorgeous. Tell me you want me. Tell me anything, Greg. Tell me you're not regretting being with me."

[misanthrope_md]

"Jack... you don't need me to tell you those things. You know it, all of it. I love you. There's nothing different about today than there was last week. A date doesn't mean anything unless you let it."