[two years]

[more_flexible]

Two years. He was two years old. Sure, he was a lot older than that, but dying and coming back to life sort of threw a wrench into things. He wasn't certain how old he really was. Maybe...thirty one? A non-linear life spent trying not to die in some random era or on some alien world sort of made aging the least a person's worries.

But he'd been here two years. On this island, no way to leave. So much of who he had been had slipped away and he knew about the man he would become. Immortal. A leader. A man with a mission. A fixed point in Time and Space. He certainly wasn't any of that here. Here he was...shit, he didn't even know what he was. Just a guy. Just a guy trying to do the right thing, and succeeding some of the time.

Last year there had been a party. This year, most of the people he had known were gone. This year, Jack grabbed a bottle of the most caustic poison the Hub had on the shelf and he wandered down to the beach. He hadn't said much to anyone, just told House he would be back later. By the time he'd gotten to the big, flat rock that looked out over the ocean, he was drunk. Not terribly drunk. Just drunk enough that he could pretend that two years of his life hadn't been stolen from him. Just drunk enough to pretend he'd been granted two years to replace them.

Jack raised the bottle to the ocean, the island, and the sunset. "Happy birthday to me," he said dryly, then tipped the bottle back and drank until he choked.

Comments

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

"Happy Birthday?" She'd come up behind him silently. It was easy enough to do on the sand, her sandaled feet sinking with each step. Tosh had watched him drink deeply from the bottle of what she recognised as utter swill. "How old?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He turned his head lazily in the direction of the voice, his eyes glassy and his throat not so much burning as melting thanks to the moonshine.

"Toshiko!" he beamed, smiling wide enough that almost a his teeth showed. "I...don't know. But c'mere. It's a party."

Of one drunk man on a beach, his only other guests ghosts of the past.

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

She was sure her sigh must have been audible to him, though she went over and sat with him on the rock. After all, it was a birthday, and what was the harm in a drink or two? Jackson and Owen were home, likely asleep. "A party of just us?" She couldn't not smile, Jack was infectious like that.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Wasn't a party at all, 'til you showed up," he drawled, taking another pull off the bottle. "So, yeah. Party of two. Best kind."

Jack was havng a hard time focusing on her, so he finally gave up and looked back out over the ocean.

"Last year, I got pie."

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

Tosh was worried that he'd start to sway, leaning against him for support as well as comfort. "Pie? Did you want pie?"

She'd forgotten. Not a very good friend, she thought, but she had completely forgotten. "This year it's the two of us on the beach. Happy Birthday."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Nooo, just saying. Jane made me a pie," he sid, leaning against her in return. It steadied him enough that he could gesture with the bottle as he spoke.

"I died, you know," he continued. "Died and came back and found myself here. Hell of a birthay present, huh? A new life here?"

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

"Maybe it was the best birthday present you could have gotten at the time," She knew what it would mean for him, that he'd never continue on, never be their Jack. "Is it so bad here?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack was quiet for a second, then shook his head and tipped the bottle back but this time only took a sip. Enough to keep his mouth numb.

"I used to hate it here. So damn boring, and I hated being trapped," he said, then sighed and smiled softly. "Now? It's the closest thing I've had to a home since I was a kid."

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

Home. The word resonated for her as well. "When I was younger we lived in Japan. My aunt's house, I spent all of my time there. This... This place is like that now."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I like Kyoto," he replied, latching onto Japan. "I knew this woman. So beautiful. You remind me of her, sometimes. When you're pissed."

Something said he'd told her that before, but maybe not. It was getting harder to think...which was what he'd been counting on.

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

"Only when angry?" Tosh smiled at his words, her hand finding his. She didn't know what was wrong, if there was anything wrong, of if Jack just needed to drink and to have someone there. "Did she get angry often?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

One hand in hers, one on the bottle, Jack's mouth curved into a stupid, drunken grin. "She did at me. It didn't last long, ever. She'd get mad and I'd just take it, then we'd go to bed and she'd let me take her down. That was so long ago. First Agency mission I really fucked up, mostly because I didn't want to leave. Not supposed to get involved, y'know. Get in, get out, don't say goodbye."

He took another drink, watching the setting sun sparkle on the water. It had been a lifetime ago. Before the gap in his memory where they'd taken the years away. Before he'd quit. He hadn't said goodbye then, that was for sure.

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

"You collect people Jack. You try to not, but you likely always have." Tosh had no way of knowing that, but it was her suspicion. "That or maybe we all see something in you that you don't. Even back then."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Without letting go of the neck of the bottle, he scratched his chin and listed away from her, then swayed back. "I was one of the best," he said softly. "First from the peninsula to be accepted to the Agency. I don't think I ever thought of it as collecting people. I just don't like to let go."

He caught the silhouette of a boy out the corner of his eye, but when he looked over, the shape was gone. Yeah, he didn't really wonder where the impulse to hold on came from. He didn't wonder why the Agency approved policy of not getting attached in the first place had resonated so strongly back then, either.

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

"It works out the same I think," She spoke quietly, knowing that he would hear her. She knew he had ghosts, more ghosts than most of them it seemed to her, and this wasn't even the Jack she knew. The Jack that would live for she didn't know how long.

"I don't like letting go either," that was new. Before she didn't like connecting. Maybe it was because she was afraid she'd lose those connections.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack tuned away rom the vanished vision and looked at Tosh. Really looked at her, searching her face and settling on her eyes. He could hardly focus on anything, his whole body flush and warm and loose.

He squeezed her hand tightly and pulled it toward him as he leaned in, still smiling. "Good. Hold on," he said softly.

Then, acting (or reacting) without even a moment's thought, Jack kissed her. Lightly at first, but it lingered to long, pressed a little more than he ever had before.

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

A kiss from Jack was nothing new, especially a drunken kiss. This kiss, however, was. It was easy to fall into it, too easy. Too easy, so she pulled back, her lip between her teeth as she shook her head.

"I can't Jack." She touched her hand to his cheek. "I'm sorry."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He stayed as he was, eyes closed and lips parted. A slow nod accompanied the subtle lick of his lips.

"I know," he said softly. He wasn't going to say he was sorry, though. If anyone wanted to catch him at his most honest, it was when he was drunk or stoned. He could even be honest with himself, and he really, really wasn't sorry.

He opened his eyes slowly and smiled at her, then leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek, near her ear, and whispered. "Don't apologize, Tosh. Nothing to be sorry for."

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

She'd always felt there was something to be sorry for. It was her way, apologising for slights she'd not committed in a hope to be forgiven for everything. In hope of being accepted. He'd recognised that, but then, Jack always had. "I'm learning that too," she said, her cheek warm against his.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

One more gentle kiss against the softness of her cheek and he pulled back and took another long drink from the bottle. One swallow, and a second, then a third. He drank it like it was water, because it may as well have been, by now. He hardly felt the burn, and only knew he'd drank because his stomach protested the assault.

Jack wiped his lower lip and leaned against Tosh more heavily.

"It's my birthday," he repeated. "Not really, but here. I've been here for two years." Had he already said that? Who cares, he thought, before continuing. "When I was a kid, all my birthdays were on the beach. We'd bring all the food and a ball, and when it got dark, my brother and I would get wood and dad would build a fire." That was a great idea, actually. "Wanna build a fire?"

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

It was a horrible idea, of that Tosh was sure. She was also fairly sure that if she said no he would find a way to do it without her. She almost asked him if he really wanted a fire when she realised that she'd never heard him talk about his childhood.

"If you'd like." She just hoped he left the lighting of it to her.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

His smile grew until he was beaming. "Cool. Stay here and I'll go find something to burn," he said, shifting to get off the rock and stand up. He made it to his feet and stood up for a second, getting his balance...then the bottle fell from his hand and landed in the sand with a soft thump.

And then Jack followed it.

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

"Oh, Jack," Tosh sank down in the sand beside him, moving him into a sitting position, "You are drunk, aren't you?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

The laugh started low and soft in his throat, shoulders shaking as it built up enough momentum to spill from his lips.

"Nah, I'm just...drunk," he laughed. Yeah, mission accomplished. "Mighta been drunk before you got here."

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

"Let me walk you home?" It was the least she could do. That and she wasn't sure that she trusted him in this condition to leave him alone on the beach.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"No stealing my lines," he slurred, looking over at her. "I'll walk you home, 'kay? M'fine. Really."

[toshiko-san.livejournal.com]

"Alright," Tosh stood, holding a hand out for him. It was good enough, she suspected he was drunk enough she might be able to have him pass out in her hut. 'of course you can walk me home."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Means I have to walk, huh?" he grinned, then tried to get up. He made it to his knees, and as he rose from there, he grasped the bottle to bring it along.

"Y'know, Tosh...you're a helluva woman."