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more_flexibleJack slept fitfully once he drifted off again. Even in sleep there were hiccuping hitches of breath from sobs that just wouldn't stop. He was plagued by dreams, same as he'd had. Same as he'd had before. Darkness and smoke, rope and blades. Insane laughter and ranting, and blood. The man had slammed his hand on a nail, for fuck's sake. Of course there was blood. The dreams shifted and changed from what had happened here to scenes of his life when he'd been on the other side. When he'd been the one tying people up and beating them. He had understood how they felt because he'd been through it to various degrees, but none of that had ever haunted him like this.
When he finally woke, his head was throbbing and the ice was melted. He sat up carefully and moved away from Logan's sleeping form. Two more pills from the clinic and as much water as he could stand, then Jack decided to resort to what always worked best for any sort of pain. He rolled two joints and slipped outside, Linus accompanying him to the chair on the patio portion of the hut. Watching the community in the low light of the pole lamps around the edges of the community made him smile. This was his home and he was safe here, he knew that. The dreams were awful, yeah, but beyond scaring the crap out of him, the made solid one core thought. He was never going to let that happen to anyone else. It helped that he knew Logan would be there for him, too. That he could handle it if Jack actually cracked. He'd trusted the younger man for a long time now, but this was the first time he realized just how much. He hardly fell to pieces in front of Ianto, and had only cracked a few times with House. Logan had seen his weakest points again and again and he was still here.
Lighting a joint, Jack settled into his seat and gave Linus a pat. "You're a good dog, you know that? Even if you don't like me, you're still a good dog," he said quietly. Linus laid his muzzle on Jack's thigh and watched him, both eyebrows moving in ways that conveyed concern. Jack took another pull and wondered if concern was actually something dogs felt...
To say Logan had been worried when he'd woken up alone would have been an understatement. His eyes snapped open as he cam to the realization that their bed was empty, and he looked around the hut in a panic before getting to his feet and starting to dress. His fingers were reaching for his gun, ready to go looking for Jack, just as he heard the porch creak loudly, his stomach twisting as he pushed the door open and looked outside. He didn't say anything, but the rush of relief he felt showed, his whole body relaxing as he exhaled.
He took a deep breath before wandering over and eventually sitting down, watching Jack with a slight frown before speaking. "That won't help," he said calmly, knowing that the only thing Jack got when he was stoned was stupid and tired. Sure, it might buy the other man an hour or two of peace, but that was it. Nothing more. Reaching out, Logan tried to take it from him, knowing he had a better plan.
"Come on, give me it, you can't be high right now. I want you to take me to the TARDIS. You promised you'd show me more, that you'd show me the holo-whatever. You can't be high if you're going to do that." Though for all he was making it sound like it was all about him, the truth was it was all about Jack. He'd seen the way the other man changed the moment he stepped inside that blue box, and for all he knew it couldn't fix everyhing, he was sure a few hours on the TARDIS would do more good than a couple of joints could ever hope to do.
"But I hurt," Jack replied before taking another hard pull on the joint. As soon as he had, though, he was stubbing it out. Logan had said the magic word. TARDIS...and holo-whatever. Those both sounded like fantastic ideas and nothing bad ever happened in the TARDIS. Well, there was that one time. And that other time. Oh, the time that...
Before he could finish the thought the joint was out and laid aside for another time and Jack was on his feet. "I need to put on a shirt. And some shoes. I don't think I can concentrate long enough to fix anything or anything, but there's a few theaters. That sounds...good." He wasn't stoned yet, but the pot had definitely taken the edge off the pain and slowed down his thoughts. That was good enough. He smiled easier and more genuine than he had earlier and to him? That was also good enough.
The way Jack smiled... it was enough to get Logan to relax and smile in return, his fingers wrapping around the bullet still hanging around his neck for safe keeping as he got to his feet and followed. He didn't get too close as Jack dressed, still trying to give him some space, but he did glance over as he pulled on a shirt of his own. Or, rather, one of Jack's shirts. A plain white tee that was just a little too big for the younger man. Slipping his sandals on, he paused to put some food down for Linus, scratching the golden retriever between the ears and then wandering over to Jack.
He hesitated, but eventually caught the other man's hand with his own, tugging him gently towards the door. "I like going there," he admitted. Though honestly, it wasn't really a matter of loving the TARDIS so much as it was about loving the way Jack lit up when they were in it, or even just talking about it.
"Good. S'my favorite place, you know," Jack reminded Logan as he held on and began to walk. His steps were slow; Henri had said to rest and take it easy, and the night was coming fast. Stars began to dot the sky and Jack tilted his chin up while he walked along the boardwalk.
"The first time I went in her, I'd actually parked my ship near the Abarria nebula. It's toward the outer edge of the Lotus Galaxy and I always thought it'd be a good place to die--if I had a choice. But the Doctor and Rose showed up and I walked into this ship. The TARDIS. She's the sort of thing legends are made of. Bedtime stories. You've got fairy tales of sleeping princesses and charming princes...we used to hear tales of the terrible and wonderful powers of the Time Lords and their ships. And when I was in there? The stories didn't do Her justice."
"You thought you were going to die?" Logan asked curiously, lacing his fingrs with the other man's as he looked over at him, watching the way he nearly glowed as he talked about it. Jack was always handsome, but sometimes- sometimes he was beyond that, and he couldn't help but press just a little closer, as if hoping just a little of the other man's glow might rub off on him.
"Well...yeah. Detonation of that bomb was inevitable. Couldn't keep it in stasis forever," he shrugged. "I had my drink and no plan...and then I heard Glenn Miller and Rose and that's how I got to travel for a while. It's all in the reels. I promise we'll watch something a lot better than those, though." Jack turned a lazy smile toward Logan and looked at him for a second before he stopped abruptly and pressed his lips to the corner of the younger man's mouth. It wasn't where he'd meant to land the kiss, but it wasn't bad.
Logan looked somewhat surprised by the kiss, and he seemed to fall a little off balance for a moment before kissing him in return. His kiss was slightly more on target, but careful and soft- at least at first. Habit caused him to press closer, kissing Jack just a bit harder as he closed his eyes and held on just a little tighter before stepping back.
"I guess I should really thank him one day," he said, wetting his lips as he started to walk again. "Without him, you might not have ever turned up here in the end."
"I guess so. Never thought of that," he replied, falling silent as he thought things over along that line. Time was such a funny thing. If and if and if...and if anything had changed, things wouldn't be how they are now. They were nearly to the TARDIS before he said, "Or I could have come here still a coward. If it hadn't been for the Doctor, I'd have never taken the bomb. I'd have just...left. Gone to the next con."
"I can't imagine you any other way than how you are," Logan admitted. "Same way you probably can't see me as I was before I got here. I mean, I know you've seen the worst of me, but not like I was in Neptune. I was- cruel. A coward. Mean. I guess, you could argue I'm still all those things, but it's not the same."
He slowed as they neared the large blue box, taking it in as he had before, still looking for clues that might help him better understand it. Not that he ever honestly believed he would. Some things would always be just beyond his grasp. "Come on," he said, tugging Jack towards the entrance and waiting to be let inside. "You promised me holograms of aliens. I expect lots of holograms. And maybe time at the koi pond. I'm feeling demanding today."
"You feel demanding every day," Jack countered in amusement as he unlocked the door and took Logan inside. The lights came up and there was the familiar faint hum. Jack climbed the ramp and went to the console to tap away at a computer for a moment. "Aliens you want, then aliens you'll get. Come on."
He took Logan's hand again and pulled him down the main corridor which turned and bent and forked and curved. It was a veritable maze and yet Jack knew precisely where they were going. Unexpectedly stopping in front of a door, he peeked inside and nodded. "We're coming back to this room after. If you get to be demanding, so do I," he insisted, pushing the door open wide enough for Logan to see a luxurious bath that looked like it was pulled straight out of a Roman Villa.
Logan's brows raised as he peeked into the room, the aliens forgotton as he took in what had been hidden behind the door until Jack began to pull him away. "What else have you been keeping from me?" he asked with a curious look. "All these rooms, all this stuff... Though I guess I shouldn't be too shocked you haven't shown me yet. After all, we've hardly used our own new room yet."
He fell into step easily beside Jack once more, watching the other man as they walked and smiling. He knew one trip to the TARDIS wouldn't wash away all of Jack's troubles, but it was nice to see the other man pulled together, if only for a little while. After all, just because he wanted Jack to open up more didn't mean he was happy to see him hurting. As much as he'd learned since Jack's breakdown, it wasn't worth all the pain the other man was going through.
"There's an amusement park with a roller coaster," he replied lightly, as if was so very common for anyone to have a roller coaster in their home. "And you've seen the butterfly room and the planetarium. There's a forest in here someplace, and a library...I think it's got stuff from Alexandria, just before it burned. There's so much in here that I can't even list it all. Rose and I used to just wander around, opening doors and looking. I don't think the Doctor has a room like ours, though."
The memory of the room, carefully decorated and furnished with things that never needed to be put away made him grin. The open beams made things like suspension a new option, and the bench with bars and pegs for hands and feet was nailed securely to the floor. There were no windows, but he'd rigged the roof with panels to open, like flaps, just to keep it from getting unbearably hot. If anyone had suggested even a year ago he'd have a room dedicated to the varied and wonderful things he might get up to in the course of sex and games, he'd have laughed. He wasn't laughing now. In fact, he was sort of thinking the aliens and things could wait. Except he had a feeling that he was under medical advisement to keep even his sex life sedate. Right. Like that was going to happen.
"So not what I meant," Logan laughed, his skin flushing slightly pink as he looked down at his feet. The idea of their room, as appealing as it was, was still a source of embarrassment for the younger man. For all it had been his idea in a way, the knowledge that it was there, and the things that lurked inside, still made him blush. God help him if anyone else ever found it. He would probably go into hiding or die of embarrassment.
"I can't believe there's an amusment park in here. You have to be bullshitting me," he laughed, looking at all the doors as they made their way down the halls and smiling when they finally slowed to a stop.
"I swear I'm not shitting you. She's her own dimension. Well, minus about a quarter. He- The Doctor- had to jettison a quarter of the mass to have the energy to escape a black hole...I think. It provided seventeen thousand tons of thrust. He got rid of a quarter, I know that. But there's some city in here someplace he's got for safekeeping and I think that Rose told me once that she'd found a window and inside was nothing but a lot of space and a whole small planet," Jack explained, happily chattering on and stopping at one door. The wrong door, but a door. He pushed it open and inside was a theater; it was the sort just made for opera and it was opulent beyond measure. Jack hardly blinked.
"It's just a replica," he said, as if that made any difference when standing at the top of a royal concert hall. There was gold leaf gilding, plasterwork, velvet curtains, and hundreds of seats. "It's like the stage that Diva Osunos sang the final aria of her life. Weird race, the Sunosians. They sing, all the time. It's pretty at first, but then you just feel like you're living in some kind of vaudeville meets Vivaldi world. It loses it charm really fast."
Logan gave Jack a look that made it clear he wasn't even trying to follow what the other man was saying when he started talking about dimensions, and he glanced around the room like a little boy at a museum. Interested, but saving his enthusiasum for the mummy exhibit. "Do a lot of people on the island know about this place?" he asked curiously. "I mean, why even bother going out there when you have all this? I still don't get why you weren't living here before."
"Not really. Kind of. A lot of people know the Doctor from the reels because they're from the universe where he's just the lead of a show. A few people have been in here, but that was when it was the control room. And then there's all of us who traveled with him...but that's about it," Jack explained. "It's great. Amazing. But there's no one here. Can you really imagine me living in here all by myself?"
That would be the very definition of hell for Jack. All the opulent theaters, amusement parks, planetariums, and baths wouldn't mean anything if he wandered the corridors alone.
Nodding a little in understanding, Logan smiled. "Yeah, I guess that would be pretty weird for you," he agreed. Though it didn't sound so awful to him. He wasn't really the social type, he never had been. Wandering alone didn't seem so bad, as long as there was plenty to do.
His hand found Jack's again, and he tugged the other man away from the theater, wanting to be shown more. "Still, I can think of worse places to be alone. At least you can explore here, and there's tons of stuff to do, right? I don't think it would be that bad." His fingers tightened a little though, and he lingered at Jack's side as he slowed to a stop again. "Though I kind of like not being alone. It's better than I remember it being. A lot better."
Jack moved closer to kiss Logan, going slowly and almost hesitantly. As much as he loved it here, there was still the creeping sensation just beneath his skin that had lingered there since he'd come up out of the hole in the ground. It was nothing...just something he was going to need to shake off.
"I love you, you know," he said, much like he had dozens of times before. "If I didn't, I don't think we'd have made it a whole year since you tried to lay down some rules for this...thing." He grinned before he kissed him again, a bit more enthusiastically, then added, "I'm glad you're here. With me...in here. I could show you everything. It'd take ages, and you'd probably get bored, but I love showing you, you know, everything."
"I like watching you show me," Logan admitted. "It's like- you glow. When we're in here, you glow. It's like you light up inside. It's kind of beautiful. ...Kind of hot too."
Smiling, he stepped closer and draped his arms around Jack's shoulders, holding on loosely as he kissed the other man again, deeply and slowly. "I love you too, Captain. Always. ...Even when you make it hard. Even when you're all fucked up. Hell, especially when you're all fucked up. I just- love you. I love this."
It still surprised him how just a look or a word or a touch could make everything slough off and leave him able to focus solely on Logan. The pain faded, the unease faded, all the crap from the day just faded away to nothing. Jack found it far too easy to wind his arms around the younger man and hold him close, pivoting just enough to find the stability of a wall to hold them both up. He kissed Logan until his lips felt chapped and swollen and his hands had somehow found their way beneath his shirt, the injured one moving far less surely as fingertips mapped the well known curves and angles.
Gasping, Logan nearly caved, leaning into every touch and catching Jack's lips with his own again as he closed his eyes and let the world slip away until it was just them and that gentle hum.
Except Logan knew better, and after a moment he gently swatted at Jack's hands. "Don't get too fresh, Harkness. I don't think this is really the place. As much as I desperatly want to screw on a space ship- or even just make out, even I know that's against the rules. -Besides, I don't like the idea of it watching us..." he added, frowning slightly as he looked around. "Voyeurism never did it for me."
"Then you never did it right," Jack purred as he pressed for just a little more. It was just going to wind up with him being frustrated, but he failed to care. The closer he got to Logan, the closer he wanted to be. He tilted his head to drag his teeth along that spot beneath Logan's ear and kiss along his pulse, but all the heat an urgency drained away and it wasn't long before he was simply nuzzling in against the soft skin and breathing deeply.
"You're right," he said after he'd enjoyed to strange security that came from being so close. He knew he was far too large to just curl against Logan and hope the younger man would take care of things. He certainly didn't expect that on any normal day. "You're right, we should go," Jack continued as he pulled away. "Aliens. Aliens with tentacles. There might even be a giant wasp to show you..."
"Ew," Logan replied simply, his skin still flushed and his body buzzig from having Jack so near. One of these days he'd learn to shut his damn mouth and just enjoy things.
Jack snorted softly, the warmth of the breath hitting Logan's skin hard. A minute later he was pulling away, then nodded to the door. "Let's go. We can look at a video catalog. That sounds like fun. Really, though, there's thousands of things to watch, so we can just browse. Just say the word when you get bored."
There really wasn't much chance of Logan getting bored, the novelty of holograms alone would prove to be entertaining. Little things like that were still new enough to keep the younger man amused, and once they were inside, time seemed to zip right by them as Jack showed him creature after creature, each one stranger than the last.
Reaching out, for a moment Logan seemed to forget it it was look, not touch, and his fingers slipped right through the silver strands of the alien's hair, distorting the image slightly before he sheepishly drew back. "Sorry," he said awkwardly.
"Don't be. Just the wrong room for that. If you want one you can sort of feel I'd have to find the hard light controls in the suite. This is just for looking," Jack explained. He couldn't give a shit about the different beings, really. He was having more fun watching Logan. "I can get it to move if you want. Here...I'll pull up a Vegan dancer. From Vega...not the sort that don't eat meat." Jack looked to the control panel and chuckled as he pressed a few keys.
The next image was obviously a woman. She wore transparent clothing, but in layer upon layer so only the most energetic movements revealed anything. Her hair was long and dark and her limbs were much longer than any human's. The way she moved was like wind or water, graceful and delicate, but powerful.
"It's combat," Jack said after a minute. "They go slow like this to practice. Or they did, when they weren't allowed anything more than field tools. No weapons. The Derah conquerors outlawed it, so they would dance to practice how to fight and they'd use threshing sticks or rakes for props. The ag uprising battles are some great stories..."
Logan stepped back, bumping lightly into Jack by mistake as he watched her move. He meant to apologize, but the words seemed to get lost as he simply watched her and how graceful and elegant she was. Everything Jack showed him was so strange and so- beautiful. Even the ugliest of the creatures (and god some of them had been ugly) had something about them. The visions were so clear that Logan almost felt a new connection to the other man- except he knew what he was seeing was nothing like what Jack had seen.
It was nothing more than wandering an art gallery with someone who knew all the artists. Simply looking in at a world that Jack knew intimately.
Jack's arm wound around Logan and held him lightly as the woman went through the dance and then the loop began again. By the time that happened, though, he had lowered his head to nuzzle the junction of the younger man's neck and shoulder.
Without looking up, he reached for the panel and pressed a raised button and a large alien replaced the dancer. He'd been saving it, mostly because he didn't think Logan would believe him if he'd ever tried to describe a Judoon. The large rhinoceros beings with their armor and their guns were such a pain in the ass for the Time agency.
Logan gasped, surprised by both the feeling of Jack suddenly so close again, and the large creature that had replaced the gracefully dancing woman. Leaning back slightly, he looked the creature over, unsettled by it even without Jack offering any explanation of what it was. He shivered without realizing, before turning to face the other man. "I think I've seen enough for one day," he said quietly, smoothing his hands lightly down Jack's chest. "You want to head home, or... we can walk around some more. See the fish or, I don't know, just sit somewhere quiet. Whatever you want."
"I...want a bath," Jack said, his smile still pressed against Logan's skin. "The waterfall doesn't count as a bath, and showers...nothing wrong with showers. Come on, let's go back to that room I showed you."
Jack fumbled again with the controls, doing it all by touch as he closed his eyes and nibbled lightly along Logan's neck and followed his hair line to the nape of his neck. The holo projector shut down and the house lights came up, but by then Jack was already tugging at Logan to get him to the door.
When Jack's lips found his neck, there was no way he could have said no to anything, and Logan followed easily, forgetting all his earlier arguments about being watched. It was just a bath after all. Totally innocent. Just water and Jack. Stunning, perfect, naked Jack. The thought alone made his mouth dry and as they approached the door he felt that stange and familiar flutter in his stomach.
Stepping into the room, Logan couldn't help but gawk a little. It was like nothing else on the island. Clean and perfect and... the best idea Jack had come up with all day.
When he finally woke, his head was throbbing and the ice was melted. He sat up carefully and moved away from Logan's sleeping form. Two more pills from the clinic and as much water as he could stand, then Jack decided to resort to what always worked best for any sort of pain. He rolled two joints and slipped outside, Linus accompanying him to the chair on the patio portion of the hut. Watching the community in the low light of the pole lamps around the edges of the community made him smile. This was his home and he was safe here, he knew that. The dreams were awful, yeah, but beyond scaring the crap out of him, the made solid one core thought. He was never going to let that happen to anyone else. It helped that he knew Logan would be there for him, too. That he could handle it if Jack actually cracked. He'd trusted the younger man for a long time now, but this was the first time he realized just how much. He hardly fell to pieces in front of Ianto, and had only cracked a few times with House. Logan had seen his weakest points again and again and he was still here.
Lighting a joint, Jack settled into his seat and gave Linus a pat. "You're a good dog, you know that? Even if you don't like me, you're still a good dog," he said quietly. Linus laid his muzzle on Jack's thigh and watched him, both eyebrows moving in ways that conveyed concern. Jack took another pull and wondered if concern was actually something dogs felt...
To say Logan had been worried when he'd woken up alone would have been an understatement. His eyes snapped open as he cam to the realization that their bed was empty, and he looked around the hut in a panic before getting to his feet and starting to dress. His fingers were reaching for his gun, ready to go looking for Jack, just as he heard the porch creak loudly, his stomach twisting as he pushed the door open and looked outside. He didn't say anything, but the rush of relief he felt showed, his whole body relaxing as he exhaled.
He took a deep breath before wandering over and eventually sitting down, watching Jack with a slight frown before speaking. "That won't help," he said calmly, knowing that the only thing Jack got when he was stoned was stupid and tired. Sure, it might buy the other man an hour or two of peace, but that was it. Nothing more. Reaching out, Logan tried to take it from him, knowing he had a better plan.
"Come on, give me it, you can't be high right now. I want you to take me to the TARDIS. You promised you'd show me more, that you'd show me the holo-whatever. You can't be high if you're going to do that." Though for all he was making it sound like it was all about him, the truth was it was all about Jack. He'd seen the way the other man changed the moment he stepped inside that blue box, and for all he knew it couldn't fix everyhing, he was sure a few hours on the TARDIS would do more good than a couple of joints could ever hope to do.
"But I hurt," Jack replied before taking another hard pull on the joint. As soon as he had, though, he was stubbing it out. Logan had said the magic word. TARDIS...and holo-whatever. Those both sounded like fantastic ideas and nothing bad ever happened in the TARDIS. Well, there was that one time. And that other time. Oh, the time that...
Before he could finish the thought the joint was out and laid aside for another time and Jack was on his feet. "I need to put on a shirt. And some shoes. I don't think I can concentrate long enough to fix anything or anything, but there's a few theaters. That sounds...good." He wasn't stoned yet, but the pot had definitely taken the edge off the pain and slowed down his thoughts. That was good enough. He smiled easier and more genuine than he had earlier and to him? That was also good enough.
The way Jack smiled... it was enough to get Logan to relax and smile in return, his fingers wrapping around the bullet still hanging around his neck for safe keeping as he got to his feet and followed. He didn't get too close as Jack dressed, still trying to give him some space, but he did glance over as he pulled on a shirt of his own. Or, rather, one of Jack's shirts. A plain white tee that was just a little too big for the younger man. Slipping his sandals on, he paused to put some food down for Linus, scratching the golden retriever between the ears and then wandering over to Jack.
He hesitated, but eventually caught the other man's hand with his own, tugging him gently towards the door. "I like going there," he admitted. Though honestly, it wasn't really a matter of loving the TARDIS so much as it was about loving the way Jack lit up when they were in it, or even just talking about it.
"Good. S'my favorite place, you know," Jack reminded Logan as he held on and began to walk. His steps were slow; Henri had said to rest and take it easy, and the night was coming fast. Stars began to dot the sky and Jack tilted his chin up while he walked along the boardwalk.
"The first time I went in her, I'd actually parked my ship near the Abarria nebula. It's toward the outer edge of the Lotus Galaxy and I always thought it'd be a good place to die--if I had a choice. But the Doctor and Rose showed up and I walked into this ship. The TARDIS. She's the sort of thing legends are made of. Bedtime stories. You've got fairy tales of sleeping princesses and charming princes...we used to hear tales of the terrible and wonderful powers of the Time Lords and their ships. And when I was in there? The stories didn't do Her justice."
"You thought you were going to die?" Logan asked curiously, lacing his fingrs with the other man's as he looked over at him, watching the way he nearly glowed as he talked about it. Jack was always handsome, but sometimes- sometimes he was beyond that, and he couldn't help but press just a little closer, as if hoping just a little of the other man's glow might rub off on him.
"Well...yeah. Detonation of that bomb was inevitable. Couldn't keep it in stasis forever," he shrugged. "I had my drink and no plan...and then I heard Glenn Miller and Rose and that's how I got to travel for a while. It's all in the reels. I promise we'll watch something a lot better than those, though." Jack turned a lazy smile toward Logan and looked at him for a second before he stopped abruptly and pressed his lips to the corner of the younger man's mouth. It wasn't where he'd meant to land the kiss, but it wasn't bad.
Logan looked somewhat surprised by the kiss, and he seemed to fall a little off balance for a moment before kissing him in return. His kiss was slightly more on target, but careful and soft- at least at first. Habit caused him to press closer, kissing Jack just a bit harder as he closed his eyes and held on just a little tighter before stepping back.
"I guess I should really thank him one day," he said, wetting his lips as he started to walk again. "Without him, you might not have ever turned up here in the end."
"I guess so. Never thought of that," he replied, falling silent as he thought things over along that line. Time was such a funny thing. If and if and if...and if anything had changed, things wouldn't be how they are now. They were nearly to the TARDIS before he said, "Or I could have come here still a coward. If it hadn't been for the Doctor, I'd have never taken the bomb. I'd have just...left. Gone to the next con."
"I can't imagine you any other way than how you are," Logan admitted. "Same way you probably can't see me as I was before I got here. I mean, I know you've seen the worst of me, but not like I was in Neptune. I was- cruel. A coward. Mean. I guess, you could argue I'm still all those things, but it's not the same."
He slowed as they neared the large blue box, taking it in as he had before, still looking for clues that might help him better understand it. Not that he ever honestly believed he would. Some things would always be just beyond his grasp. "Come on," he said, tugging Jack towards the entrance and waiting to be let inside. "You promised me holograms of aliens. I expect lots of holograms. And maybe time at the koi pond. I'm feeling demanding today."
"You feel demanding every day," Jack countered in amusement as he unlocked the door and took Logan inside. The lights came up and there was the familiar faint hum. Jack climbed the ramp and went to the console to tap away at a computer for a moment. "Aliens you want, then aliens you'll get. Come on."
He took Logan's hand again and pulled him down the main corridor which turned and bent and forked and curved. It was a veritable maze and yet Jack knew precisely where they were going. Unexpectedly stopping in front of a door, he peeked inside and nodded. "We're coming back to this room after. If you get to be demanding, so do I," he insisted, pushing the door open wide enough for Logan to see a luxurious bath that looked like it was pulled straight out of a Roman Villa.
Logan's brows raised as he peeked into the room, the aliens forgotton as he took in what had been hidden behind the door until Jack began to pull him away. "What else have you been keeping from me?" he asked with a curious look. "All these rooms, all this stuff... Though I guess I shouldn't be too shocked you haven't shown me yet. After all, we've hardly used our own new room yet."
He fell into step easily beside Jack once more, watching the other man as they walked and smiling. He knew one trip to the TARDIS wouldn't wash away all of Jack's troubles, but it was nice to see the other man pulled together, if only for a little while. After all, just because he wanted Jack to open up more didn't mean he was happy to see him hurting. As much as he'd learned since Jack's breakdown, it wasn't worth all the pain the other man was going through.
"There's an amusement park with a roller coaster," he replied lightly, as if was so very common for anyone to have a roller coaster in their home. "And you've seen the butterfly room and the planetarium. There's a forest in here someplace, and a library...I think it's got stuff from Alexandria, just before it burned. There's so much in here that I can't even list it all. Rose and I used to just wander around, opening doors and looking. I don't think the Doctor has a room like ours, though."
The memory of the room, carefully decorated and furnished with things that never needed to be put away made him grin. The open beams made things like suspension a new option, and the bench with bars and pegs for hands and feet was nailed securely to the floor. There were no windows, but he'd rigged the roof with panels to open, like flaps, just to keep it from getting unbearably hot. If anyone had suggested even a year ago he'd have a room dedicated to the varied and wonderful things he might get up to in the course of sex and games, he'd have laughed. He wasn't laughing now. In fact, he was sort of thinking the aliens and things could wait. Except he had a feeling that he was under medical advisement to keep even his sex life sedate. Right. Like that was going to happen.
"So not what I meant," Logan laughed, his skin flushing slightly pink as he looked down at his feet. The idea of their room, as appealing as it was, was still a source of embarrassment for the younger man. For all it had been his idea in a way, the knowledge that it was there, and the things that lurked inside, still made him blush. God help him if anyone else ever found it. He would probably go into hiding or die of embarrassment.
"I can't believe there's an amusment park in here. You have to be bullshitting me," he laughed, looking at all the doors as they made their way down the halls and smiling when they finally slowed to a stop.
"I swear I'm not shitting you. She's her own dimension. Well, minus about a quarter. He- The Doctor- had to jettison a quarter of the mass to have the energy to escape a black hole...I think. It provided seventeen thousand tons of thrust. He got rid of a quarter, I know that. But there's some city in here someplace he's got for safekeeping and I think that Rose told me once that she'd found a window and inside was nothing but a lot of space and a whole small planet," Jack explained, happily chattering on and stopping at one door. The wrong door, but a door. He pushed it open and inside was a theater; it was the sort just made for opera and it was opulent beyond measure. Jack hardly blinked.
"It's just a replica," he said, as if that made any difference when standing at the top of a royal concert hall. There was gold leaf gilding, plasterwork, velvet curtains, and hundreds of seats. "It's like the stage that Diva Osunos sang the final aria of her life. Weird race, the Sunosians. They sing, all the time. It's pretty at first, but then you just feel like you're living in some kind of vaudeville meets Vivaldi world. It loses it charm really fast."
Logan gave Jack a look that made it clear he wasn't even trying to follow what the other man was saying when he started talking about dimensions, and he glanced around the room like a little boy at a museum. Interested, but saving his enthusiasum for the mummy exhibit. "Do a lot of people on the island know about this place?" he asked curiously. "I mean, why even bother going out there when you have all this? I still don't get why you weren't living here before."
"Not really. Kind of. A lot of people know the Doctor from the reels because they're from the universe where he's just the lead of a show. A few people have been in here, but that was when it was the control room. And then there's all of us who traveled with him...but that's about it," Jack explained. "It's great. Amazing. But there's no one here. Can you really imagine me living in here all by myself?"
That would be the very definition of hell for Jack. All the opulent theaters, amusement parks, planetariums, and baths wouldn't mean anything if he wandered the corridors alone.
Nodding a little in understanding, Logan smiled. "Yeah, I guess that would be pretty weird for you," he agreed. Though it didn't sound so awful to him. He wasn't really the social type, he never had been. Wandering alone didn't seem so bad, as long as there was plenty to do.
His hand found Jack's again, and he tugged the other man away from the theater, wanting to be shown more. "Still, I can think of worse places to be alone. At least you can explore here, and there's tons of stuff to do, right? I don't think it would be that bad." His fingers tightened a little though, and he lingered at Jack's side as he slowed to a stop again. "Though I kind of like not being alone. It's better than I remember it being. A lot better."
Jack moved closer to kiss Logan, going slowly and almost hesitantly. As much as he loved it here, there was still the creeping sensation just beneath his skin that had lingered there since he'd come up out of the hole in the ground. It was nothing...just something he was going to need to shake off.
"I love you, you know," he said, much like he had dozens of times before. "If I didn't, I don't think we'd have made it a whole year since you tried to lay down some rules for this...thing." He grinned before he kissed him again, a bit more enthusiastically, then added, "I'm glad you're here. With me...in here. I could show you everything. It'd take ages, and you'd probably get bored, but I love showing you, you know, everything."
"I like watching you show me," Logan admitted. "It's like- you glow. When we're in here, you glow. It's like you light up inside. It's kind of beautiful. ...Kind of hot too."
Smiling, he stepped closer and draped his arms around Jack's shoulders, holding on loosely as he kissed the other man again, deeply and slowly. "I love you too, Captain. Always. ...Even when you make it hard. Even when you're all fucked up. Hell, especially when you're all fucked up. I just- love you. I love this."
It still surprised him how just a look or a word or a touch could make everything slough off and leave him able to focus solely on Logan. The pain faded, the unease faded, all the crap from the day just faded away to nothing. Jack found it far too easy to wind his arms around the younger man and hold him close, pivoting just enough to find the stability of a wall to hold them both up. He kissed Logan until his lips felt chapped and swollen and his hands had somehow found their way beneath his shirt, the injured one moving far less surely as fingertips mapped the well known curves and angles.
Gasping, Logan nearly caved, leaning into every touch and catching Jack's lips with his own again as he closed his eyes and let the world slip away until it was just them and that gentle hum.
Except Logan knew better, and after a moment he gently swatted at Jack's hands. "Don't get too fresh, Harkness. I don't think this is really the place. As much as I desperatly want to screw on a space ship- or even just make out, even I know that's against the rules. -Besides, I don't like the idea of it watching us..." he added, frowning slightly as he looked around. "Voyeurism never did it for me."
"Then you never did it right," Jack purred as he pressed for just a little more. It was just going to wind up with him being frustrated, but he failed to care. The closer he got to Logan, the closer he wanted to be. He tilted his head to drag his teeth along that spot beneath Logan's ear and kiss along his pulse, but all the heat an urgency drained away and it wasn't long before he was simply nuzzling in against the soft skin and breathing deeply.
"You're right," he said after he'd enjoyed to strange security that came from being so close. He knew he was far too large to just curl against Logan and hope the younger man would take care of things. He certainly didn't expect that on any normal day. "You're right, we should go," Jack continued as he pulled away. "Aliens. Aliens with tentacles. There might even be a giant wasp to show you..."
"Ew," Logan replied simply, his skin still flushed and his body buzzig from having Jack so near. One of these days he'd learn to shut his damn mouth and just enjoy things.
Jack snorted softly, the warmth of the breath hitting Logan's skin hard. A minute later he was pulling away, then nodded to the door. "Let's go. We can look at a video catalog. That sounds like fun. Really, though, there's thousands of things to watch, so we can just browse. Just say the word when you get bored."
There really wasn't much chance of Logan getting bored, the novelty of holograms alone would prove to be entertaining. Little things like that were still new enough to keep the younger man amused, and once they were inside, time seemed to zip right by them as Jack showed him creature after creature, each one stranger than the last.
Reaching out, for a moment Logan seemed to forget it it was look, not touch, and his fingers slipped right through the silver strands of the alien's hair, distorting the image slightly before he sheepishly drew back. "Sorry," he said awkwardly.
"Don't be. Just the wrong room for that. If you want one you can sort of feel I'd have to find the hard light controls in the suite. This is just for looking," Jack explained. He couldn't give a shit about the different beings, really. He was having more fun watching Logan. "I can get it to move if you want. Here...I'll pull up a Vegan dancer. From Vega...not the sort that don't eat meat." Jack looked to the control panel and chuckled as he pressed a few keys.
The next image was obviously a woman. She wore transparent clothing, but in layer upon layer so only the most energetic movements revealed anything. Her hair was long and dark and her limbs were much longer than any human's. The way she moved was like wind or water, graceful and delicate, but powerful.
"It's combat," Jack said after a minute. "They go slow like this to practice. Or they did, when they weren't allowed anything more than field tools. No weapons. The Derah conquerors outlawed it, so they would dance to practice how to fight and they'd use threshing sticks or rakes for props. The ag uprising battles are some great stories..."
Logan stepped back, bumping lightly into Jack by mistake as he watched her move. He meant to apologize, but the words seemed to get lost as he simply watched her and how graceful and elegant she was. Everything Jack showed him was so strange and so- beautiful. Even the ugliest of the creatures (and god some of them had been ugly) had something about them. The visions were so clear that Logan almost felt a new connection to the other man- except he knew what he was seeing was nothing like what Jack had seen.
It was nothing more than wandering an art gallery with someone who knew all the artists. Simply looking in at a world that Jack knew intimately.
Jack's arm wound around Logan and held him lightly as the woman went through the dance and then the loop began again. By the time that happened, though, he had lowered his head to nuzzle the junction of the younger man's neck and shoulder.
Without looking up, he reached for the panel and pressed a raised button and a large alien replaced the dancer. He'd been saving it, mostly because he didn't think Logan would believe him if he'd ever tried to describe a Judoon. The large rhinoceros beings with their armor and their guns were such a pain in the ass for the Time agency.
Logan gasped, surprised by both the feeling of Jack suddenly so close again, and the large creature that had replaced the gracefully dancing woman. Leaning back slightly, he looked the creature over, unsettled by it even without Jack offering any explanation of what it was. He shivered without realizing, before turning to face the other man. "I think I've seen enough for one day," he said quietly, smoothing his hands lightly down Jack's chest. "You want to head home, or... we can walk around some more. See the fish or, I don't know, just sit somewhere quiet. Whatever you want."
"I...want a bath," Jack said, his smile still pressed against Logan's skin. "The waterfall doesn't count as a bath, and showers...nothing wrong with showers. Come on, let's go back to that room I showed you."
Jack fumbled again with the controls, doing it all by touch as he closed his eyes and nibbled lightly along Logan's neck and followed his hair line to the nape of his neck. The holo projector shut down and the house lights came up, but by then Jack was already tugging at Logan to get him to the door.
When Jack's lips found his neck, there was no way he could have said no to anything, and Logan followed easily, forgetting all his earlier arguments about being watched. It was just a bath after all. Totally innocent. Just water and Jack. Stunning, perfect, naked Jack. The thought alone made his mouth dry and as they approached the door he felt that stange and familiar flutter in his stomach.
Stepping into the room, Logan couldn't help but gawk a little. It was like nothing else on the island. Clean and perfect and... the best idea Jack had come up with all day.
