[for Ianto]

[more_flexible]

Friday. It was good to have a routine, even here. Fridays meant diving, they meant bringing the haul back to the Compound. Cleaning, gutting, shucking...whatever he'd caught, he prepped for Bill. Once the catch was in the cooler, Jack took a shower and changed his clothes, then came back to the kitchen for coffee and anything to eat that wasn't seafood.

He was on edge, still not sleeping well, but faking it well. He knew if he could do anything well, it was lying. He lied to House, lied to himself, lied to everyone who asked. He was fine.

He was fine when he dreamed. He was fine when he watched a father he didn't know die in his arms. He was fine when he sat in the Academy, lesson drills uneneding. He was fine when he watched his friend die at the hands of...

He was fine. He had his coffee and a book about a rabbit by someone named Updike. It was so much easier to be 'fine'. It meant he didn't have to question anything. It meant he didn't have to feel.

Comments

[coffee_sir]

Apparently just because it was a month after Halloween it didn't mean the island was going make things any easier on its residents. After comforting Charlie to the best of his ability, and dropping her off back at her hut, Ianto came back to the Compound to try and find something to shake his own blues away. Or at least ignore them.

And he found Jack. Which, depending upon Jack's mood, could be exactly what he needed or exactly not. "Coffee any good?" he asked idly as he walked into the room, not sure how deeply involved Jack was with his book.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

His book had nothing to do with rabbits or dykes and Jack wasn't quite sure what to make of it. In fact, it required more concentration than he was used to, considering most of what he read were dime store novels and children's books in other languages. This? This was clearly the bookshelf laughing at him.

"No?" he said as he looked up from the page. "I mean, I didn't make it, so it's okay. But you didn't make it so..."

He let that hang for a moment, then shook off the fiction and smiled warmly. "How are you?"

[coffee_sir]

"So, I'll take my life into my own hands," Ianto remarked lightly, finding a mug and filling it with coffee. He took an experimental sip and, finding it wasn't terrible, moved to join Jack at the table.

"I'm fine," he said automatically, sitting down and smoothing the front of his shirt on reflex, even though it was only a polo. "Well, mostly fine," Ianto amended, glancing up at Jack. "Charlie's Hiro is gone. She's a mess."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Hiro Nakamura?" Jack asked, abandoning the book entirely. "He's gone?"

That sort of thing was almost a rhetorical question around here, and Jack didn't need Ianto to tell him again. He shook his head and looked into his cup at the dregs.

"I'm sorry. I liked him. Sweet kid."

[coffee_sir]

Ianto nodded quietly and sighed very quietly, holding his mug in his hands. "This morning. I found Charlie." He shook his head. "I didn't know Hiro so well, but however sweet he was, Charlie's a hundred times sweeter."

He took another sip of coffee, staring at nothing at all on the table. "It's terrible that I know exactly how she feels, and I know there's really nothing I can do to make it completely better for her."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"She's the redhead that calls you mama?" Jack asked with just the hint of a smile. He'd overheard them at a party, once, but it hadn't been anything worth bringing up.

Until now.

[coffee_sir]

Ianto looked up, giving Jack a tight, wry smile, eyes narrowing just slightly. "The very same," he confirmed. "And she's the only one permitted to do that," he added, just in case Jack was curious.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I can't think of anyone else who'd want to," Jack chuckled before draining his cup and getting up for a refill. "Is there anything I can do for her? Or you?"

[coffee_sir]

Ianto shook his head mildly. "I don't think there's really anything that's going to help Charlie, other than time. Thank you though."

He hesitated for a moment, considering the coffee mug, then looked to Jack again. "If you could, perhaps, tone it down a bit around Daniel though, I'd appreciate that."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

The coffee he was pouring was at the rim before Jack snapped back from that one. Tone it down. He tried to think of what he'd done.

In the end, he just sipped the brew down to a level he could carry without spilling and said, "Okay. Consider it done."

[coffee_sir]

"I know you're not trying anything," Ianto said, somewhat quickly and hopefully in a reassuring manner. "And I'm not angry or anything like that. At all. You know I don't.." Ianto made a vague hand gesture to somehow encompass the whole of Jack's personality. He sighed. "But Daniel's.. not admitting to anything which is only what someone like him would do if he's hiding something and... I wouldn't want you unintentionally encouraging."

And as far as Ianto could think at that moment, very few things could be worse.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack cocked his head as he tried to piece that all together. "Encouraging...Daniel? Ianto," he said, the confusion crystal clear on his face. "Encouraging what? He loves you, he's fairly vocal about that."

[coffee_sir]

"I know," Ianto said, sounding mildly frustrated. "I know that. I don't doubt that." Ianto sighed again, leaning back slightly in his chair. "I saw you two at the party the other day. And I tried to tease him about it and he... wouldn't admit to it. That something happened or that he's attracted to you or whatever. And that makes me suspicious of what he's really thinking."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Wait. Wait, back up," Jack said quickly, the coffee hitting the table and splashing out as he held up both hands. "Attracted to me or whatever?"

Jack wasn't completely stupid. He flirted and he was well aware of the logical progression of doing it. But he'd been here too long and involved with House for enough time that even when he was drunk he knew where to draw lines. Yes, sometimes they weren't remotely straight, but then Jack had found that few things in the universe really were.

"Ianto...I love him like I love you. Less, to be honest. I..."

Oh, Greg was going to be pissed.

[coffee_sir]

"I know," Ianto said, leaning forward now, looking to Jack earnestly. "I know that. As far as I could see, you didn't do anything other than what I would usually expect you to do. This isn't a comment on your behavior. It's Daniel's behavior that's off. But I can't call him on it because he won't admit to it or talk about it, so I'm asking you because I know that will... kill whatever this is dead."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"You want me to tone it down? That's all?" he asked, then leaned in. "Would he try to lie to me if I asked him?"

[coffee_sir]

"That's all," Ianto said firmly, keeping Jack's gaze. "And I don't want you asking him about it. Please."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack held the look they shared in silence for a bit longer. For once he looked away first, looking down at the coffee on the table around his cup.

"All right. You know I won't if you don't want me to."

[coffee_sir]

"I know," Ianto said quietly. It felt like he had been saying that far too much. "I just don't want to make a big deal out of this. And he's only just stopped hating you."

He swallowed, looking at Jack carefully, and leaned in just a fraction of a bit more. "Are you alright?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He was keenly aware of the fact that Daniel didn't actively hate him anymore. He was even almost certain that he, well, if not like, then at least understood, Jack.

A nod, an he reached for a napkin to clean up his spill before someone like Ruth or Debbie or Eostre descended from on high to revoke his right to drink coffee.

"I'm fine," he lied. "Less busy now that the play is over, but that's okay. I think Geoffrey s already planning his next one."

[coffee_sir]

"I wouldn't be surprised," Ianto said lightly, watching Jack. "Now really tell me how you are. Please?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack looked up again and any sparkle that had been in his eyes before had disappeared.

"Adria broke something, Ianto. I can't begin to give you an honest answer to that question," he said evenly.

[coffee_sir]

The look in Ianto's eyes could only be described as concerned, but he tried to not be too obvious about wanting to help. Jack knew he wanted to help.

"Have you stopped hurting yourself?" he asked. "When you sleep?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I've got that under control," Jack said quietly. "They're better, I guess. The dreams. They still don't make any sense."

[coffee_sir]

"Have you talked to Dr. Deane about them?" Ianto tried. "She might have some input. ..What exactly do you dream about?" he asked, not sure whether to expect Jack to give him an answer, and not sure if he should even push if he was met with resistance.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"My family," Jack replied flatly. He sat there, looking down, then shook his head. "I don't know. Two different past lives and I don't know what to believe. I don't think Dr. Deane can help."

[coffee_sir]

"Talking to Dr. Deane can't hurt," Ianto pointed out. "This is too much for your brain to handle, Jack. At least, on it's own. You need to talk this out, at least work this out, with someone. And she's the most qualified."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"She is, I'm sure," he conceded. "I'll talk to her. Later." That was as good as it was going to get. He wasn't going to run off and find her right now.

[coffee_sir]

Ianto nodded, satisfied with that answer for the time being. He could check in later. "And how are you and House?" he asked.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

That got a smile he couldn't contain, even though he tried. "We're fine. Good. Great," he said...and blushed. "Things are good."

[coffee_sir]

"Good," Ianto said with a faint smile of his own. "Good, I'm glad for that. At least you have one person you don't have to stress yourself out over."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

'Yeah," he agreed with a nod, ignoring the twisting knot in his gut. He didn't have to worry about Greg at all. Yet. But every pill was one closer to the end of his supply and Jack was doing his best to ignore that fact...until he couldn't anymore.

[coffee_sir]

Ianto considered Jack quietly for a moment, suspecting that there was something behind that word, but not knowing exactly what it could be, and not wanting to push too much into it. "You know where to find me if anything changes."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I know," he answered quickly, dismissing the whole line of thought. "Same for you, you know."

[coffee_sir]

Ianto nodded quietly and took another sip of coffee. "I'll try not to develop reasons to go see you though, other than friendly curiosity. You've done far more than enough for me."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack looked up in confusion. "I haven't done anything," he said. Nothing...extraordinary, anyhow. He just took care of things.

[coffee_sir]

Ianto smiled slightly, but it wasn't exactly an amused smile. "You have too. Maybe not in your mind, but in mine you have."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Okay, okay," he said, holding up his hand. "It still doesn't mean you shouldn't come see me whenever you feel like it."

[coffee_sir]

"Of course I will," Ianto said. "Don't worry about that. I won't be avoiding you. You shouldn't avoid my hut either."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

At that, Jack grinned. "I never have, and I didn't plan to," he replied.