[for dale]

[more_flexible]

He had a bed and his own room. He had the Doctor and House and Ace and everyone and didn't even really need it, but it was nice to go in and close the door and...and feel guilty for being alone in a place where everyone could really use something that he could give, whether it was a smile or conversation or sex or just a warm body. His own bed offered nothing like peace because it was too new and it was empty; it barely smelled like Jack, let alone anyone else.

With all that in mind, he left without a word. He just needed to get away. Get away from anyone he had to be on for. Anyone who needed Jack to be fine. He wasn't fine and chips and cracks were starting to appear.

As he sat on the beach watching the sunset, all he could think about was how much he wanted to just be able to leave. Go somewhere. Cuddy had asked him about home...only one place felt like that and he'd left that behind. Sure, he had an open invitation, but how weird would that be, he thought as he tossed pebbles into a tide pool just to watch the sparkle of apricot light dance on the ripples.

Comments

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack raised an eyebrow but only shook his head. "I doubt that."

With that, he went inside and took a deep breath. Gods, he liked it here. It smelled good and he relaxed instantly.

"Dale, what do we have to drink?" he called back through the door.

[dale-cooper-fbi.livejournal.com]

"Nothing that'll get us drunk," said Dale apologetically, coming up the stairs and through the door behind him. "I've got some lemonade in the pantry, though. It won't be cold, but it ought to do."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Drunk is overrated," he laughed, getting the lemonade and two cups before walking back to Dale, only inches from him before he stopped.

"Sit on the porch with me?" he asked wth a sweet smile.

[dale-cooper-fbi.livejournal.com]

"As if I'd leave you out there on your own," said Dale with a grin. "Just let me change my shirt and I'll be right with you. I think I've sweated this one up a little."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack nodded and leaned in to kiss Dale on the cheek as he sidestepped past him. "Don't make me wait long. I'll drink yours, too."

[dale-cooper-fbi.livejournal.com]

"I know you will!" Dale called back over his shoulder, already stripping off one shirt and hanging it over the back of a homemade chair that he'd been given. The hut became more and more like a home every day. He rummaged around for something clean and came up with a tight peach t-shirt -- not one that the clothing box had foisted off on him, but one that had originally been loose and yellow before he'd neglected to sort his laundry properly.

"Much better," he said as he stepped back outside and took a seat next to Jack.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Two cups were waiting, filled with lemonade and Jack sat in his chair. At least he thought of it as his. He looked up at Dale and smiled.

"The gloaming has passed," he said. "Don't expect me to wax poetic about the stars. That's trite."

[dale-cooper-fbi.livejournal.com]

"You could wax poetic about the trees, or whoever that is on top of the compound," Dale suggested, but he could barely make him out now, and in a few more moments, he wouldn't be able to see him at all.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"How about if I don't wax anything?" he laughed as he picked up his cup. "What is he doing? Can you tell?" he asked, staring down at the roof.

[dale-cooper-fbi.livejournal.com]

Dale shook his head. "He's alone, whoever it is," he said finally, squinting into the darkness before giving up. "Maybe it was Joe. Who knows."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," he agreed as he lened back a little and closed his eyes. "Gods, I didn't realize how much I'd missed this."

[dale-cooper-fbi.livejournal.com]

"Maybe next time you'll realise you never had to go in the first place," said Dale, sipping his drink slowly. "Even if eventually we need to build an addition."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I had to," he replied. He looked ino his cup and sighed softly. "I said I wold and there's responsibiities and promises an history...I can't just walk away from all that even though I'd rather stay here."

[dale-cooper-fbi.livejournal.com]

"I'd never ask you to walk away from your responsibilities, Jack, nor would I ever suggest that you would. But sometimes you need to figure out how to look after yourself while you're busy looking after everyone else."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"You know, it makes sense when you say it, but it feels so selfish when I actually try to."

[dale-cooper-fbi.livejournal.com]

"So be a little selfish," Dale suggested. "Or make me be selfish for you, if you can't. But you have to let me know what you need, if we're going to do it that way."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack barely turned his head sideways to give Dale a Look. "I have never met a bunch of people more interested in what I want and need until I came here."

[dale-cooper-fbi.livejournal.com]

Dale just shrugged and smiled at him. "Welcome to Tabula Rasa," he said.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I think I'm long past needing the welcome wagon, thanks," he laughed and raised his cup. "Here's to wherever in the universe we are."

[dale-cooper-fbi.livejournal.com]

Dale raised his glass in a silent toast, and took a sip of his drink, falling into silence for a moment before speaking again. "I've never had much luck in relationships," he said.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Really?" he asked, shifting in the chair to look at Dale. "Why?"

[dale-cooper-fbi.livejournal.com]

"Couldn't really say," he said, twisting the glass of lemonade in his hand for a few moments. "Maybe the choices I've made along the way. Maybe just plain bad luck."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack waited to see if he'd say more, the silence growing heavier. He raised his own lemonade to his lips and took a sip, holding it there, hoping Dale would go on.

[dale-cooper-fbi.livejournal.com]

Dale did, though his words were coming out in bits and pieces. "I was already working with the FBI when I met the love of my life," he went on finally. "Her name was Caroline."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

This? was new. Jack set the glass aside and leaned in a little.

"Caroline?"