[for the doctor]

[more_flexible]

His high was wearing off by the time Jack returned to the treehouse. Tomorrow was the play and he was still sore even after the rubdown. Mostly he just wanted...he didn't even know what he wanted anymore. He kind of wanted a martini, but that wasn't going to happen.

Comments

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"No. Not good. I did stuff...told Wilson last night about, you know, Agency stuff," he sdrawled softly, leaning heavily against the wall at the landing and looking at the Doctor with heavy-lidded eyes. "Just following orders, you know. Makes me wonder about what's gone."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Jack..." the Doctor said, looking back at him. "You can't worry about it. Not here. You can't afford to."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I have to," he said as he pushed off the wall and went into the Doctor's room uninvited and stripped naked without any effort at all. "I'm going to be a father. You're right, you know. I don't know what I'm getting into. All the people I've hurt...how can I even want this? How can Lisa?" he asked as he crawled into the bed.

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

The Doctor blinked, not sure why Jack was going into his room, but whatever. He gawked at the sucker marks for a moment, and then sat down with a flop in a chair. "But you're trying to be a good person now," he said, even though he still thought the baby thing was a Bad Idea.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," he agreed, laying on his stomach an resting his head on his arms. He watched the Doctor sit...so far away...and closed his eyes. "I told Lisa if she wasn't pregnant this month, she'd have to find someone else for next time."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

The thing about Jack being stoned was that his face was even more readable than usual. The Doctor sighed and got up, sitting on the bed next to him. "Why? Because you don't think you're...suitable?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Because I'm tired of hurting people. You, Greg, Chase...hell, I think Wilson too. And there's Dale and Ace. Too many people upset about this," he said.

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

The Doctor let out a long sigh. "I just don't know what to think," he said, exhausted.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I think..." he started, then ran his fingers across the Doctor's back, "...I'm tired of disappointing you."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Jack..." The Doctor closed his eyes and slowly lay down next to Jack. "I..."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack rolled a little and draped an arm over him. "You're so beautiful."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

The Doctor didn't pretend Jack's arm didn't feel good, but he couldn't help but lift a brow. "You're still stoned," he murmured.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"You're still beautiful," he said with a broad smile as he leaned in and kissed him softly, savoring every sensation.

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

The kiss was slow, and the Doctor was tentative at first, a little uncomfortable, but slowly moved back into it.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack cupped his cheek softly, tasting him, breathing him in. "Love you," he whispered, moving closer.

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Love you too," the Doctor said, but was still tense. He closed his eyes.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"No you don't," he breathed. "I can feel it. It's okay. Nothing lasts."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

Shaking his head, the Doctor leaned in. "Yes, I do," he said. It's not just the..."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack kissed him harder, stopping the words. Too many words. Too much noise. Hands fumbled under the Doctor's shirt.

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

But the Doctor couldn't do it. Something in his stomach wrenched, and he eased away carefully, brow furrowing. "Jack, I can't..." he said quietly. "Don't go, I just...I can't."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Hands froze and Jack nodded, eyes still closed. "Okay," he said. "I stop."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

The Doctor leaned into Jack and closed his eyes again. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Me too," he said as he pulled his hands back. "Maybe...next time."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

The Doctor leaned into him some more, not wanting him to go entirely. "Stay?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"If you stay too," he said as he blinked slowly and finally focused on the Doctor. "Don't leave me."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Never," the Doctor swore, looking back at him. "Not anymore."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Mmmm," he smiled, curling against him and holding on loosely. "Mine."