[ace, doctor, cuddy]

[more_flexible]

He'd talked to House. That was...what was today? He'd talked to House on Monday. That had to be days ago.

Jack was in his hut. He'd been there...days, maybe. He had some water, and he'd eaten something. Maybe a while ago, he couldn't remember.

Is this what it was to have a broken heart? Had he done this to people? Had he done this to people all over time and space?

Had he done this to people here?

Fuck it. Jack rolled over and pulled the sheet up over his face. If anyone needed him, they'd know where to find him or who to ask. It's not like he was going anywhere.



[dual duty because I'm lazy. this is for ace, cuddy and the doctor. he's still not talking, so I'm really sorry if these go short or die.]

Comments

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

The Doctor gave him a look before he realised that Jack wasn't entirely talking about the Doctor himself.

"Yes," he said. "Really."

Because there was no alternative that wouldn't be more pain than he could deal with.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I'm not fighting with you anymore," he replied quietly. "If you need that...I can't be that."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"I have other battles," the Doctor said. "Ones that have consequences besides just pain all around." He put his chin on his fist.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Good, then. I guess. I thought we'd worked this all out...once or twice already," he said as he looked from the Doctor to the door and back. "How I'll always be your Jack, you know?"

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," the Doctor said quietly. "We have. It's more the fact that I can't seem to get things through my head, and it's not just with you. You waiting on someone? I can go..."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"No. No one," Jack answered, then laid back and draped an arm over his eyes. "It's just bright. Do you want to talk about things? What you can't get straight?"

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"It all makes sense, I just can't slam it down into my mind. I think...I pretend..." There was a long pause. "I pretend to get past what I did wrong, but I never do. Never have."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Gallifrey?" he said gently, the arm coming away from his eyes. "Or...everything?"

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Everything," the Doctor said. He didn't even wince at the name anymore, but that was only external.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"No, you never do," Jack agreed quietly. "And when you don't expect it is when it comes up and kicks your ass."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Yeah." The Doctor drew one knee up to his chest. "So that's why we keep coming back to talk about this. And it's my fault, yeah. I just...I want to be able to do something. Be needed."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Okay," he sighed, sitting up and leaning forward. "Needed how?"

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Just in general," the Doctor said. "That's all. I do everything and I don't know when I'm going to be satisfied with what I do. Love is good, more than satisfying; my friendships are good too. But I can't quite find the work."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack ran his hand through his hair and it remained standing with tracks through it where his fingers had gone. "You know how I keep talking about wanting to matter?"

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," the Doctor said. He decided now wasn't the best time to tell Jack he needed a shower.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"That's really all it is. To do something important. To...matter. To more than myself," he shrugged. "I don't have any great ideas. Just, I guess, I know how you feel."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

The Doctor looked at him, then nodded and rubbed his forehead. "Well," he said finally, then didn't say anything, only looked at him. "You...really need a shower, Jack."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack scritched the few days' growth on his cheek and looked up. "Yeah. Probably. Haven't had one since Sunday. And then I was a woman. Not exactly sure that counts," he mused.

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"I'd walk with you, if you wanted," the Doctor said. "Your hair needs a scrub, stat."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"No one but you has come by in days, Doctor. No one cares what my hair looks like," he said softly, laying back down on the bed. It was easier to not think if he was laying down.

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"That's not the point. What if a monkey gives you fleas?" the Doctor said. He looked at Jack. "Jack...you weren't lying in bed last week. What's happened?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I talked to House," he said, draping his arm over his eyes. "Actually, no, first I let him think I was a hooker. Then I fucked him. Then we talked."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

The Doctor paused, took a moment to process this, raised his eyebrows, and then blinked. "That...is a really interesting process and method," he said finally, blandly. "Um."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack laid in silence for a minute. Maybe two.

"I missed him so much. I...yeah. I just wanted to breathe a little."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"I can't say I blame you," the Doctor agreed, quietly. After all, he was the master of unconventional methodology. "And what you ended up with...has kept you in bed for days?"