[for greg]

[more_flexible]

That morning, at the clothes box, Jack had met Buffy. He'd been here more than a year and so had she, but what was amazing was that in the past seven months (almost to the day) he hadn't ever even seen her. Sure, he'd wondered, he'd thought about that name...dreamed about that name on the lips of a raving madman. That name along with ropes and blades and smothering darkness.

He'd just thought he was handling it better.

He'd collected enough shellfish for he and Greg and threw together a quick lunch after he'd left the basement. If he could keep busy, he could keep from thinking about it. From thinking about her. She barely came up to his chest and she was so pretty and young and if she'd been bound and there had been...no. He couldn't keep doing this to himself. He'd done what he had to do to stay alive, and he'd done all he could to keep people like Buffy safe. He tried not to think about Maladicta being hit, tried not to think about how he'd failed to just keep the man there with him. He just needed to stop thinking about it.

Except he couldn't. It was on his mind the whole way to the treehouse.

Comments

[misanthrope_md]

A stab of guilt hit House. "Oh... jesus, Jack, I didn't know. Why didn't you say something if you were upset? I wouldn't have..."

Christ, that was so long ago, how was he supposed to know something had dredged it up?

He put his hand on Jack's arm, still not wanting to touch him anymore.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I want it to go away," he whispered. "God, you...you're a doctor. Just make it go away," he asked plaintively.

[misanthrope_md]

"I'm not that kind of..." House sighed. "I can't help you, Jack. God, I'm the last person who should be trying to help you. Thirty five years later and I still can't talk about my mother's rape without getting sick to my stomach, let alone my father...."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry," he said, inching closer as he kept a deathgrip on the jeans. "I'm so sorry, Greg. I thought I'd...dealt. I thought it was done," he said, mortified at how easily he cracked under pressure any more.

[misanthrope_md]

"It's not your fault," House said quietly. "I'm sorry, I should have figured it out sooner."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I didn't want you to..."

To what? To see it? To know? To know how fucking weak he was that meeting a little blonde could break him like this?

"...leave."

[misanthrope_md]

"I hope you wouldn't think so little of me that if you told me you didn't want to have sex I'd leave." There wasn't really any judgment in it, just a statement.

House sighed. "Fuck. I can't believe I'm about to suggest this, but... maybe you should talk to someone. A therapist."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"A therapist." His grip loosened a little and he unculred, eyes fully opened and focused now. "You...think I need to?"

[misanthrope_md]

"Jack... you just shoved me away like you thought I was going to hurt you."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He looked away, off through the trees. "Yeah. I...I should. I should have before, probably. I thought I could handle it."

[misanthrope_md]

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Jack. Hell, I've got more issues than I know what to do with - it's just not that obvious because I'm such an asshole anyway."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Not to me," he said softly, looking up at him. "Not since...ever, really."

[misanthrope_md]

"Well at least we know it wasn't my father's good influence, hmm? Hey. You okay?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I hate not touching you," he admitted, bushing dark. "I want to have it feel right and good and...yeah. I'm sorry."

[misanthrope_md]

"It's okay."

House hesitated. "Don't... push yourself. I'm okay. You don't have to."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I know. I want...I want you. I'm just," he sighed and rolled onto his back, folding one arm behind his head. "I'm fucked up."

[misanthrope_md]

"Just tell me what I can do, okay?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I wish I could kiss you," he replied, brows furrowing. "It took so long back then..."

[misanthrope_md]

"You... don't think you can kiss me now?" House rocked back a little, looking somewhat defeated.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"...Can we try?"

[misanthrope_md]

House nodded. "You know I'll always do that."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Kiss me," he asked, finally letting go of his jeans and reaching up for his shoulder. "Just...go slow."

[misanthrope_md]

House leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips against the edge of Jack's mouth.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He closed his eyes once Greg got too close to focus on and laid his hand against his cheek. He didn't rush it, getting comfortable with every familiar touch. It was so hard not to shove him away, and he peeked through barely opened lids to keep himself in the moment...here. With Greg.

[misanthrope_md]

After a few seconds, House reached up and laid his palm gently over Jack's hand on his cheek. The kiss was extremely undemanding, letting Jack take complete control.