[for Daniel]

[more_flexible]

--Friday, July 4th||Serena and Blair's beach party--

It was a party. Jack loved parties and he'd been asked to help by the prettiest underage-off-limits-don't-even-say-hello girl named Serena. Okay, so maybe he'd flirted a little. It didn't really matter in the end, since he'd spent the day with Owen and gotten him here, gotten him a drink, and then another, then told him he'd be right back. It wasn't a party if he didn't talk to a few people. Jack had kept up with Owen fairly well in the shots department and was feeling loose and warm and good. Let Owen get trashed, he was just nicely tipsy. Jack had left the tux behind in favor of a pair of shorts and a wifebeater, which seemed to be the uniform of most of the people here. Jack looked around, smiled and flirted and said hello to more than one person before he looked over...

And there was Daniel.

Jack dropped everything and headed straight for him.

Comments

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I'm not sober enough for this," he smirked as he continued to swagger forward. "I got over the Doctor, I can get over House."

He was almost to a point where he believed that, too. The only difference was he'd had House before he ever split with the Doctor. This time, he had no safety net.

"You want me happy? Really?" Jack asked, looking over at Daniel. The smirk disappeared, all amusement vanished. "Quit talking about it."

[theunascended.livejournal.com]

"You might as well ask me to stop caring while you're at it, too. You're here for me and I'm here for you. That's how it works. Your usual solution of ignoring the problem until it goes away won't work here. You've tried it and it hasn't worked, right?"

He moved back in front of Jack, grabbing his shirt and pulling him in for a bruising kiss.

"Just do a little thinking between now and Sunday, Jack. That's all I ask. But whatever you do, I'm not going to give up on you."

That said, he resumed his former position, arm around Jack's waist.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"You make everything sound so dramatic, Daniel. I'm not languishing. Not going to wither from consumption. Shit, I'm not even sure if I'm genuinely upset or if it's just that something I'm used to and I care about is gone." He took another long swallow, nearly finishing off the bottle, then passed Daniel the last drink if he wanted it.

"I'll think about it, but I can kinda guess my answer on Sunday's gonna be the same. It's over. I can't fix it, I made sure of that. Short of taking a bullet for him so he'd have to be my doctor, he's not going to touch me...and even then, he might just let me die."

[theunascended.livejournal.com]

"No, I don't make things dramatic. Jack, I'm not telling you what's wrong. I'm telling you what it looks like to me. I told you that you have to figure it out. Because you're not any better now than you were months ago. If anything, you're worse, and obviously you don't know what's wrong."

Daniel took the last of the bottle and swallowed.

Quietly, he added, "You're the closest thing to a best friend that I have on this island. Maybe that doesn't mean much to you, but..."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Do I really need to know what's wrong, Daniel? If I need to--if you need an answer--I can tell you right now. I used to have a puropse. I used to know where I fit. Ever since I came here, I've been trying to figure it out. If I haven't gotten it in two years? I give up."

He stalked through the jungle faster, intent on getting back to the party so he could lose himself again in something that had nothing to do with talking or introspection...or if it did, it didn't require it of him, because he couldn't stop the word once they started tumbling from his mouth. The best he could hope for was to walk fast enough to leave them behind.

"I didn't fit with the Doctor, I had no good reason to be with Greg, and now I've got a room mate who points out at every opportunity how much I've slipped away from everything that I was, once. Everything I despised. I've got no reason to be here, Daniel! All I've got is a few people who I...and they disappear and I'm...FUCK! Can't you ever leave anything alone?!?"

[theunascended.livejournal.com]

"Then tell him where to shove it!" Daniel shouted, grabbing Jack's arm and all but hauling him to a stop again. "If you don't want to be that guy anymore, then don't. It's not slipping away if it's a choice you make to change. To be someone else. It's not slipping away if you care."

"Don't you think I know how you feel?" He threw up his hand to the sky so violently, that he nearly smacked Jack. "I'm supposed to be up there. Fighting the Ori. Saving the galaxy. Mitchell told me that it's done, that we won, but I still have this burning need to be out there."

"Why do you think I was so eager to go to the other island? It was almost like being..." Home again. "It's why I wandered for days into the temples without realizing any time had passed. You can always find some reason to be here. Keeping that John Hunt under lock and key, taking care of your friends, making sure that the other island is safe to explore."

"I want you here," he whispered. "I need you here. Without you, I would have long since self-destructed."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He didn't flinch, barely gave a sign that he knew just how close he'd come to getting hit.

"I'm here. I'm always here," he said quietly. "I always find a reason. And when I can't...I make one up. Right now? It's John. And the Task Force. And Owen. And you. And dancing. And fucking. And a hundred other things I fill up my days with until I find something that fits. Do you get that? Can you understand?"

[theunascended.livejournal.com]

"This is why you talk to me, Jack. Because I do understand. You know I do. But I can't know unless you talk to me about it and I can't help unless I know. Tell me what's easier. Telling me once and then just having me be there to support you or me being worried about you until I finally manage to wear you down and this happens?"

He moved closer, bringing a hand up to cup Jack's neck. "Neither of us wants it to be like that."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"It's easier to avoid you and not have to talk about it at all," he pointed out, but then closed his eyes and leaned in until his forehead rested against Daniel's. "I'm really too drunk for this. Can we...can you just hold that thought until Sunday? I just want to go to the party."

[theunascended.livejournal.com]

"Still wouldn't work," he continued whispering. "I'd track you down. Or you'd come find me of your own accord." They'd already proven that. He nodded slowly. "Sunday."

He put his arm back around Jack's waist. "Just come find me at my place."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack exhaled, an audible sigh of relief. Safe...he'd stopped. Daniel was rewarded with a nod as Jack pulled away.

"Sunday."