[for the doctor]

[more_flexible]

Jack went back to the treehouse after the lab. He couldn't figure out how he was going to handle the look of disappointment in Lisa's eyes, couldn't stand the thought of House telling him how stupid it was to have even tried. And the Doctor...fuck.

Just fuck.

He laid on the sofa, which still smelled faintly of Ianto, and watched the fire burn lower. He should get up and toss another log on. He should get up and do something. Anything. Thinking this over a hundred times wasn't going to change the fact that he was different than he had been before.

Comments

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," the Doctor said softly, lips still against his skin. He stroked his fingers down Jack's back, what he could reach. "I thought something might have."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He nodded slowly. "Can't fool you for a second," he said wryly. "I went to the lab...you know Abby? Cute girl? Black hair?"

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Mmhm. Perky Goth Girl, seeing Eostre," the Doctor supplied quietly. He leaned his head on Jack's chest and waited.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"She did me a favor," he started. "I thought, you know, fuck," he sighed. "I asked her to check if I was fertile."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Oh," the Doctor said. He paused, then stiffened. "Oh no. Jack..."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"So yeah. No sperm at all, and she said the fluid didn't look right either," he said tightly. "Whatever happened...primordial changes, K9 said," he choked.

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Jack..." The Doctor looked up at him, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry, Jack," he whispered and kissed him very gently, carefully.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I don't know how I'm going to tell Lisa. As much as I wanted a baby...it's the only thing she wants in life. I just wanted her to be happy," he whispered hoarsely. "What kind of man am I anymore?"

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Jack...a good one." The Doctor frowned, that feeling in his chest coming again, as if someone were cleaving the connection between them. "She knows you tried, and that it's not your fault. Oh, Jack love..."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I tried," he repeated bitterly, shaking his head. Quiet for another moment, he looked deep into the Doctor's eyes. "You really think I'm a good man?"

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

The Doctor looked back, directly into his eyes, and nodded, jaw set. "Yes. I really do."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He closed his eyes, unable to hold that gaze. "Just tell me what to do, Doctor. What am I supposed to do?"

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"I don't know yet," the Doctor admitted. "But I'll help you think of something."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"You can't say anything," he said quietly. "Not to anyone. Not until I break it to her, anyhow. Promise me?"

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

That...he could do. He nodded. "Promise."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Thank you," he breathed, arms encircling him tightly. "I...I don't know why thins is tearing me up. Six mnths ago it would have been fantastic, you know?"

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"You're a different person now," the Doctor said gently. He brushed a kiss against Jack's neck.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I blame you."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"That," he replied, "seems to be my lot in life."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, well," he smirked as he trailed fingers along bare skin. "I guess you're good at it."