[for Greg]

[more_flexible]

[dated wednesday the 24th]

On the fourth day, Jack returned. He was hungry and tired and he'd finally had time to think. Now it was time to come back and face up to everything he'd done.

And undone.

He sauntered into the Compound as if he'd never been gone, took a shower and changed his clothes, the headed for the treehouse. He paused long enough to notice how the sky lightened as the sun rose. It was a new day and maybe things would work out. He had come to terms with his lies and his fears. What he wanted. What a child he'd been.

He opened the door and noticed Ianto wasn't on the sofa, but didn't dwell on it long. He went directly to Greg's room, closing the door behind him.

Comments

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I'm okay," he answered. He took a deep breath and swallowed hard while he shoved his hands in his pockets. "I just wanted to see you first. Sorry."

[misanthrope_md]

"I... I don't know why I hit you." House paused for a second. "Okay, I do know why, but I shouldn't have. Where have you been, Jack?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Other side of the mountain. I just...I fucked up. A lot."

Then he looked into Greg's eyes.

"Didn't you get the letter?"

[misanthrope_md]

"I'm not sure that two words counts as a letter," House said irritably. "Not that I didn't appreciate knowing that you hadn't just... disappeared, but something along the lines of 'I'll be back in a few days' sure would have been nice."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"...how long do you think I can hold my breath, Greg?" he asked, pulling a hand free and drawing it through his hair. "I thought that you'd understand."

[misanthrope_md]

"I just thought..." House sighed and sank down onto the bed. "You keep pulling away, Jack. Just enough. I thought we were beyond that... it should have been you in here breaking down on me, not James."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"He...oh," he said, looking at the bed, then Greg, then the door. "I get it. Okay, well, um..."

He was pretty sure he was about to puke. Or cry. Or both.

"...did you fuck him?"

[misanthrope_md]

House's gaze jerked up to Jack, eyes wide. "What? No! For god's sake, Jack!"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack fell to his knees at Greg's feet and leaned in, arms on either side of him.

"I had to ask. I don't want to lose you, too."

[misanthrope_md]

"Don't..." House said, his voice a bit choked, and reached down and put his hands underneath Jack's arms, yanking him up. "You're a selfish fuck, you know that?" And then he was kissing him again, hands tangling in Jack's hair, a small sound of relief in the back of his throat.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He kissed him back desperately, almost whimpering at how much he ached for this. He didn't even pull away to breathe, just gasping around the kiss.

[misanthrope_md]

House, however, eventually pulled away, gasping for breath. "Don't think this means I'm not pissed at you for not telling me the truth. And for leaving without saying goodbye. And for thinking that you're not important enough for that to fuck with people..." He started to kiss him again, fingers still tugging at his hair.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Okay," he gasped, pulling himself closer. "We need...Greg..." he said, struggling to pull away even though he didn't want to. "I have to tell you something."

[misanthrope_md]

House sighed. "I already know about the baby. You could have told me. Hell, I should have figured out something was wrong..."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"No...that's not it. I'm, God, you're right. I'm selfish. I am."

He sat back on his heels and let his hands lay on Greg's legs as he took a deep breath.

"I just want you. I know we were just fucking around, but I want...I want Princeton. I don't want anybody else, Greg. Just you."

[misanthrope_md]

If there was anything House had expected Jack to say, that was definitely not it.

"I - you - what?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

That was about what he expected.

"I was out there alone and I had time to think and I thought about how everyone's always asking me what I want. So...I thought about that. I thought I wanted to matter. I thought I wanted a baby. I thought I wanted the Doctor. I thought about all the shit I've done and all the things I'm going to do. I thought about Gwen and Ianto and Tosh and Owen. I thought about Rose...God, I thought about her a lot. But it always kept coming back to you. I've loved you for so long and I just didn't get it, Greg."

Then he finally looked up and half expected Greg to tell him to get the fuck out.

"I want to be yours."

[misanthrope_md]

House wasn't sure he'd have the words to tell Jack to get out even if he'd wanted to. As it was, it was a long moment before he could speak, and all he could manage was, "Oh... god. Jack, I don't..."

He was tempted to point out that he couldn't have loved him for that long because they'd known each other for less than six months. But House couldn't pretend that he didn't kind of... feel the same way.

"You... really?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Really."

Jack tried to swallow, but his mouth was dry.

"No choice on your part except for taking me back or telling me to go."

[misanthrope_md]

House looked at him awkwardly for a moment. "So you're not... the Doctor told me that you asked him to choose. What if...?" He couldn't quite bring himself to just come out and ask, ask if he was second choice. What did it mean that Jack wasn't making him choose between him and Chase?

House was... confused.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"The Doctor has never called me his boyfriend. Unlike you, who tells anyone who will stand still long enough to hear you. I've told you before that it was different. I thought about that too, if you want to hear about it."

Jack leaned in hesitantly, fingers trailing lightly up Greg's thighs.

"Do you remember when I told you that Rob saw the Doctor differently because I knew him before the island, and Rob only met him here? And that it was kind of the same for you and Rob and you and me?"

[misanthrope_md]

"I... remember," House said, feeling his heart starting to beat a little faster. "I also remember you saying that you wouldn't sleep with me because of my bad attitude."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"That wasn't the only lie I told that day," he said, smiling a little. "My point is, the Doctor and Rose, they changed me, Greg. I owe him. I...I think I worship him. But I don't love him like I love you," he said, his voice growing softer as he leaned in a little closer. "And I don't know how to prove it except with a promise."

[misanthrope_md]

"But it's not... Jack, the reason I call you my boyfriend - and I, I say the same about Chase - it's because I'm used to monogamy. It's comfortable for me. Normal. I would... want that, if I didn't happen to, um." He sighed. "Be in love with two people. But you... you don't want that, Jack." Pause. "... do you?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I don't want to fuck anyone but you, Greg. If..." he sighed and looked down and closed his eyes tight. "If you want to, I don't care. I've done it to you enough. I...if I...see, shit, okay. If I'm not with you, I think I just won't be with anyone."