[for logan]

[more_flexible]

Jack had had a lot on his mind since Mardi Gras. Most of it centered on time, the Doctor, and the past. Except this time it had little to do with lingering doubt or questions and more about how to help Bernice begin to let things go. Or, barring that, get to a point where it wasn't eating her alive.

He'd burned off a lot of energy at ITF training and after he had showered and eaten, he came home to continue on a project for Helen. Chances were good she'd see it before it was done, which only made him try to finish it faster. As he carved carefully, he tried to concentrate and not let his thoughts wander in the direction of Logan and how he might be or all the things that had happened during training that he wanted to tell him. None of it amounted to much, but he wanted to tell him anyhow...and find out what the other man had been doing as well. And he tried not to think about the fact that he hadn't gotten much out of him since before the party. Something had happened, he puzzled that much out, but he didn't know what and that put him on edge.

Comments

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Jack," Logan said quietly, his voice a timid warning as he swallowed hard. "What happened to candles and all that shit?" he asked, willing to take nearly anything Jack could throw at him. ...So long as it didn't involve the other man's belt.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"You just can't keep your mouth shut, can you?" Jack exhaled, wandering to the bed and retrieving the box from beneath it. He plucked the gag from inside it and came back over, facing Logan.

"Open your mouth," he said calmly. "I don't need you questioning me."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Jack-" Logan started to protest, his voice low and shaky.

The threat of the belt was still hanging between them, and he looked unsure, even as he parted his lips to let the other man gag him. Forcing himself to simply trust Jack. To just- let go this time and not fight until he had a good reason to.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He didn't say anything, simply securing the gag tight enough that the straps cut into Logan's cheeks, and then circled back around. The belt lay on the bed where Logan could see it, the threat of it there, but not as imminent.

"So much better. Now..." he said, slapping Logan's bare ass hard, "...since the candles were your suggestion, let's go with burns first."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan shook his head, his hands twisting in their bonds again as he reached up to try and loosen the rope from around his throat, suddenly finding it harder to breathe, even though the knot hadn't moved an inch.

He was trying, he honestly was trying to just behave and do as Jack wanted, but the belt was making him edgy, and he fidgeted until he finally gave in and began trying to untie himself.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack reached up and caught Logan by the back of the neck in a tight hold- the grip that he knew precisely what it did and tried not to use on the other man. Even with his pants around his thighs, Jack forced him to walk across the room.

"I told you...fuck, Logan, why can't you ever just let go," he sighed, opening the closet door and shoving him inside. As far as punishments went, it was nothing. Small space, dark, but there was nothing dangerous in there.

He moved the rifle crate enough to keep the door tightly closed, then walked off to change the sheets and get a few things ready before letting Logan out. He poured a couple cups of water and took the last swallow of bourbon that Ianto had been nice enough to give to him. He wasn't stupid. He had a feeling that as soon as he let Logan out of the closet he was going to be in for all the hissing and spitting the other man could manage.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

It was so unexpected that Logan didn't even react at first. The doors shutting and the sound of something being moved in front of them sending shivers right through him as memories came flooding back.

Bound hands came up to push at the doors, and his struggle became more and more desperate as he realized how trapped he was.

His fingers fought with the rope around his neck, and he practically threw himself at the door in an attempt to get out. Panicked and uneasy ...and angry.

By the time he gave up his arms were bruised from banging into the doors, and his wrists were raw from fighting against the rope that held them. Tired and broken, he sank to the floor, his eyes damp and his shoulders shaking as he waited in the dark. It was stupid, how something so simple could leave him so wound up, but there were some things Logan just couldn't handle. Things that still left him feeling like a helpless little boy.

A sob broke past the gag, muffled and low, and he drew his knees to his chest and shut his eyes tightly. As if he could block out the dark.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He figured Logan had either tired himself out or just given up to sulk, so when he moved the crate and opened the door, the sight of the man sitting on the floor made his throat close and his heart sink to the pit of his stomach.

"Come on. Get up," he said, helping Logan to his feet. He untied the gag and undid the rope binding his wrists, then gestured to the table where the cups and candles were.

"Pull up your pants and go have a drink," Jack told him, more softly.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

The moment his hands were free Logan shoved Jack away, pulling his pants up and wrapping his arms tightly around himself as he drew back.

There was a long moment where he did nothing, but eventually he swallowed hard and headed over to the table, sitting down and rubbing his face until his eyes were red and even more puffy than before.

He couldn't help but think that Jack should know better. Even though there were still stories he was yet to tell the other man, he felt as if Jack should have been able to tell that the closet was one of those things that wasn't okay. Not without fair warning. Not without Logan's permission and a chance to prepare himself.

It hurt to think that Jack could do something like that, despite the fact that the younger man was forever pushing him for more. Pushing him to take it further.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Logan didn't look like he needed to be pushed or pressed at the moment and with the way he'd shoved Jack away...well, Jack had gotten good at seeing the lines where Logan drew them.

"I'm going to see if Linus is back yet," he said quietly, stepping out onto the porch and giving a whistle, not expecting the dog to come at all. He just wanted to give Logan enough time to either cool off or seethe enough that he did more than shove.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Alone, in the dark, with rope around his neck and his wrists. It was something Jack would have never let Logan do to him. The sort of thing that Logan would have never done. The more he thought about it, the more annoyed he got, and he started to get up to leave when he felt something fall from his pocket.

It was the GHB.

They'd talked about it, Logan hatred of being drugged, and Jack's simple acceptance of it as a tool. As no big deal. ...It was the perfect way of making a point. Easy and to the point. Don't do to me what I'm not allowed to do to you.

There was only a little left in the glass vial, just enough to spike the other man's drink. Colourless, unexpected and just waiting to be taken.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He waited until he couldn't wait any longer without seeming like he was a coward, so he came back in and braced himself for a fight. He was surprised that Logan wasn't waiting right there to ambush him.

"He's not out there," he said. "And he's not going to come for me anyhow."

He sat down at the table and slouched in the chair, legs splayed out before him. After a minute of silence, he reached for his cup and without looking at Logan, he said quietly, "Sorry."

Then he washed away the apology by swallowing the entirety of his water.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan didn't reply, showing no sign of his mood as he got up and headed for the door.

Whistling loudly, he didn't even have to call Linus's name, the dog simply came running, emerging from the distance and rushing over before slowing to a trot. The golden retriever yipped softly, tail wagging as he headed back inside, and he picked up one of Jack's shirts with his teeth, dragging it into the corner for a good chew.

Not that Logan was watching. His gaze was fixed on Jack's empty cup.

"How's your water?" he asked.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Kind of flat. I should have gone and got some fresh bef--"

He stopped talking abruptly and looked into his cup. He'd totally drained it without even thinking. He looked up at Logan, his features stony. There was no way Logan would pull this sort of shit as a joke. Not after he'd completely lost it when Jack had tried it.

"Funny. Before you'd gotten back. I did change the sheets, though."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"You know the thing about GHB, shitty GHB anyway, is that it's got that salty taste to it," Logan said, wandering back over to the table and looking Jack in the eye. "You'd think you'd notice it, but most of the time you just aren't expecting it. I dunno how many times I've had my drink spiked. Partly 'cause I stopped counting after the second time, and partly 'cause I just don't remember. I have whole nights I can't remember. Days that are a blur. ...But enough about me. Before it kicks in Jack, just tell me this. Sitting in the dark, alone, with a rope around your neck, that's something you'll never forget, right? So what made you think it would be an okay thing to do to me?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He dropped his cup and swallowed hard as he rose to his feet. He was so angry he didn't even bother to answer, instead heading for the window so he could shove his finger down his throat since there was no such thing as an anti-toxin here. If he'd still been thinking like an agent...

His heart was pounding and adrenaline rushed through his system so quickly that before he could even get across the room he was staggering.

"You fucking little..." he slurred, turning to look at Logan. The man was blurry around the edges and Jack blinked slowly, trying hard to focus.

"...bitch."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Reaching out, Logan caught Jack by the arm, gently guiding him back over to the bed. "Don't worry, I'm not a total bastard. Won't do anything to you that you wouldn't do to me. ...Not that you'll remember anyway."

Laying Jack out on the bed, he crawled into bed beside him, stroking his hair and then starting to open the other man's shirt.

"I'll remember though. This time I get to remember."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack struggled to keep his eyes open, but he went just where Logan moved him.

"Logan."

Don't, he wanted to say. Worse than the dark or the rope or any of that was the very thought of not remembering. Of Logan purposely and knowingly stealing his memory. Two years gone, and he had no idea what had happened. He could care less what they did together or how Logan treated him. Games and sex...he was willing to do anything. But his memory was all he had.

He was fairly certain he'd explained everything well and that Logan would understand. That he'd make it okay. The other man's hands were so gentle. Tender. He closed his eyes and shook his head, barely protesting.

"Please," he added...to everything he only thought he'd said aloud.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan didn't have it in him to take advantage, not really, and he stripped Jack slowly, knowing the other man preferred to sleep in the nude. Once all his clothes had been shed, Logan folded them all and began to undress himself, finding one of Jack's t-shirts and pulling it on over his head.

Jack looked so peaceful, and he could almost convince himself that there was nothing strange going on as he crawled into bed beside him. That there was nothing wrong or disturbing about pulling up the covers and curling up beside him, one arm slipping around his middle and holding on tightly.

"Love you," he whispered, pressing his lips to the other man's jaw and closing his eyes. "You're a fucking bastard, and I hate the shit you do sometimes, but I love you."

It was all so innocent. ...Though Jack didn't need to know that.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

When Jack woke up, the sun was high and his head hurt. He was disoriented and dizzy when he tried to stand, and sat on the edge of the bed for a minute, trying to get his bearings.

The last thing he really remembered was letting Logan out of the closet. He didn't recall taking his clothes off or anything...anything until now. He turned to look at Logan and shoved his shoulder.

"Hey," he said weakly. "Wake up."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan hadn't been asleep long, having spent most of the night watching over Jack, and he looked worn out and sluggish as he opened his eyes.

He tensed a little as his brain slowly started to take in what had happened, leaving him wishing he'd been awake first. Slowly sitting up, he raised one hand up slowly, ready to block if Jack decided to take a swing.

"Hey," he replied cautiously.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"I feel like crap," Jack said, deciding it was a better idea just to lay back down. "What did we do? Did I hit my head?"

He closed his eyes and struggled to remember. Closet. Oh, and Linus.

How's your water?

He opened his eyes and looked at Logan in confusion.

"Did you...you did something to me."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan didn't reply at first, and when he finally did it wasn't to offer a confession or an apology. Just an excuse.

"You locked me in the closet. You gagged me, tied my hands, wrapped rope around my neck, and locked me in the dark. Do you remember that part? Because I do.

Besides, it's just a tool remember? At least that's how you tried to justify it when you pretended to drug me," he muttered, refusing to see the wrong in what he'd done as he slipped out of bed.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

He watched Logan get up and move away. It was a struggle, piecing things together. Snatches of memory came back as Logan talked, but after a point there was just...nothing.

"What did you give me?" he asked gravely, making his way to his feet and fighting off the dizziness. "Why can't I remember anything? What did you do, Logan?!?"

He held his head, the fact that he was nearly yelling and so fucking livid making his head pound. The harder he tried to remember, the more there was simply nothing there. Angry and on the cusp of panicking, Jack scrambled for his neatly folded clothes...another thing he didn't remember doing.

"How many days has it been?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"It wasn't days, it was just a few hours. Eight, maybe. Probably less," Logan replied, surprisingly calm as he spoke. "It was GHB. Not even a full dose, just enough to- Just enough to knock you out."

He'd been expecting the anger, wanted it even, and again he waited for the other man to lash out.