[for logan]

[more_flexible]

Jack had had a lot on his mind since Mardi Gras. Most of it centered on time, the Doctor, and the past. Except this time it had little to do with lingering doubt or questions and more about how to help Bernice begin to let things go. Or, barring that, get to a point where it wasn't eating her alive.

He'd burned off a lot of energy at ITF training and after he had showered and eaten, he came home to continue on a project for Helen. Chances were good she'd see it before it was done, which only made him try to finish it faster. As he carved carefully, he tried to concentrate and not let his thoughts wander in the direction of Logan and how he might be or all the things that had happened during training that he wanted to tell him. None of it amounted to much, but he wanted to tell him anyhow...and find out what the other man had been doing as well. And he tried not to think about the fact that he hadn't gotten much out of him since before the party. Something had happened, he puzzled that much out, but he didn't know what and that put him on edge.

Comments

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"I'll be fine, Jack. I'm probably just being stupid about it all. Harry's been nothing but nice to me. He likes me. I'm not like you, I don't just attract random admirers that often... It's kind of nice having someone around who finds me attractive who isn't one of your people." Like Benny or Helen, people who openly seemed to like him, but he still considered to be Jack's.

He leaned into the other man's touch a little, pulling him a little closer and holding on for a moment. "Why'd you go looking for House?" he asked quietly.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

One of your people...that stung more than it should have because Jack honestly never thought of it like that. He hid it well, though, especially when Logan brought up House.

"I figured he'd be drunk and I'd be able to catch him in a sort of good mood so I could apologize for the things I said in the clinic," he explained. "I should have known it was a bad idea because I looked for a bit and then asked Neil, of all people, if he'd seen him. That went only slightly better than talking to House. At least Neil was just snotty and walked off. House, though...I think that I've now, officially, given up even trying to talk to him. Apparently all I do is confuse and humiliate him. So much for trying to make peace."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"At least you didn't kiss him like you did at New Years," Logan muttered, his bottom lip jutting out slightly as it often did when he was sulking or unhappy.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, the kissing's where the confusing part came in," he replied dryly. "Right before the 'I miss waking up next to you, Jack' and a little after the 'can't believe you're in love with an infant so much that you'll do for him what you wouldn't do for me'...Logan, it was a mess. He was drunk and all I wanted to do was get him off the roof. Next time I'll just let him break his fucking neck. I don't care."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan pulled away, laughing bitterly and shaking his head. "Well, you know, you could always try apologizing without your tongue down his throat. That might help," he suggested nastily.

"You know, for someone so done with his ex, you seem to spend enough time making out with him. You've got the whole island, why him? Why do you have to kiss him? I mean, how would you feel if I told you I'd kissed Neil last night? Can you honestly say that wouldn't upset you, no matter what the outcome was? That you wouldn't wonder if I still loved him, or what I might have said?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"He kissed me," Jack said, as if such a minor detail made all the difference. "And then he got pissed when I backed off and told him I wasn't going to ruin what I've got with you. All I wanted to do was say I was sorry and then when I realized how drunk he was, I just wanted to get him downstairs to Cameron. As it turned out, my babysitting was needed elsewhere. I was actually kind of surprised you didn't show up. We could have both slept in the hammock."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"You didn't so much as say hi at the party, I wasn't going to come looking for you," Logan replied. "Look, I'm not- I'm not mad, and I'm not being insecure or whatever. I get that you love me, I know that, I don't doubt it, but- But sometimes it would be nice to go to a party and not watch you sample a little of everything. Just once, it would be nice to actually be your date, and not just the backup plan if nothing else pans out."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"You want to be my date," he repeated, blank and more than a bit confused. "Just with me? Like...a couple? I thought that wasn't what this was all about. I sort of figured when I didn't see you, you'd gone off with someone early. It's not like I didn't look for you. Hell, even seeing you would have made it worth being there."

Even if he'd been fucking Gwen in a stairwell or any of the other Mardi Gras disasters that had happened in previous years, it would have been better than bitterness and babysitting.

"I kind of hate Mardi Gras, to be honest. The worst shit always happens."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"It isn't what it's all about, but that doesn't meant that now and then I don't want things like that. I don't expect us to be some sort of normal couple or whatever, but- I'm not like you, Jack. Sometimes I need those stupid conventional things. Just once in a while. Just now and then. Sometimes I want to be your date, and sometimes I want to do stupid couple type bullshit, and I know it's lame, but that's the truth, okay?"

He sighed again and looked down at his hands. "I wasn't hiding, Jack, I was right there, looking for you. I staid by the bar nearly all night, just in case you turned up. ...Whatever, it doesn't matter. It was just a really shitty night."

Reaching out, he held on lightly to Jack's shirt. "I'm never gonna get to sleep. Maybe we should go get some food or something."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"There's still a couple hours until dinner," Jack replied, pushing Logan down into the mattress. "Close your eyes and I'll stay right here. And then...I'll take you to dinner. Like a date. Just because I don't think to do it doesn't mean I don't want to, you know. But you really look like you could use a couple hours of sleep."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Yeah?" Logan asked softly. "You really want to do that?"

He sat up again, even though Jack was still holding him, and he kissed the other man softly before speaking again. "I'm really not tired. I mean, I am, but I'm not gonna sleep. I know I won't. Let me go home, okay? I'll walk Linus and I'll put on something that isn't shorts and a t-shirt, and we'll make a night of it. Dinner and then back here for the night. I promise I'll sleep later."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. I really want to do that," he agreed. Smoothing his hand over Logan's hair once, he smiled and then moved to get up. He was covered in wood chips and dust, so he went to his laundry to see what he hadn't given away.

"Go home, I guess. Take care of Linus...you can even bring him over here if you want. I'd like you to stay the night, and he shouldn't have to be in that pen all the time."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan nodded, catching Jack's arm and pulling him closer one more time as he kissed the other man lightly. Just a quick press of lips and a small smile.

"Alright," he agreed simply, not wasting any more time before slipping off back to his hut.

The walk home was quick enough, though the distance between their huts would always prove to be a pain, and soon enough he was home, digging through his things as he searched for something to wear. He went through everything item by item, and found himself stratled as something slipped from the pocket of one of the nicer pairs of jeans he had, hitting the wood floor with a soft thunk.

It only took a quick glance to see what it was, and he frowned as he stooped over and picked up the small vile of GHB. It wasn't full, and he remembered clearly trying to pour it out. Promising everyone that it was gone, only to end up keeping just a bit. ...Just in case.

It seemed so stupid now, and he slipped it into his pocket once he was changed, telling himself that this time he'd really get rid of it. This time it was going for good, not just for show.

He returned to Jack's a while later, dressed just a bit sharper in a pair of dark jeans and a button down shirt, rather than his beach gear, and though Linus seemed unsure, he wandered over to Jack without growling for a change. Of course, he was soon distracted by the kitten, and the large animal sniffed the small ball of fur, before nudging her lightly to see if she'd move.

"Linus, go lay down," Logan snorted, watching the retriever hesitate before trotting off to curl up in the corner.

"Hey," he said, heading over to Jack and smiling brightly. "You ready?"

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack had taken the time to find trousers and one of the blue button down shirts that still had all the buttons on it. He smiled and nodded before heading to the compound with the other man. For his part, he kept the conversation light and barely flirted with Vala as he got his food. She was too busy reading some magazine, anyhow. Engrossed enough that she hardly noticed Jack and only flashed a passable smile at Logan before returning to the intricate and gaudy Spring line from some designer ten years ago.

It wasn't even until after they'd eaten and were heading home that Jack reached over and took Logan's hand, leaned in, and kissed his cheek.

"We could do this more often," he said.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Yeah?" Logan asked, lacing his fingers with Jack's as they walked. "Not too often though, right?" he added with a sly sort of smirk, squeezing the other man's hand and pulling him closer. "I kind of like the other stuff too, But this could be nice, just now and then."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Once in a while, yeah," he agreed. It was still strange, in a way, being affectionate like this out in public. For all the times he was willing to molest Logan against a tree, it was the holding hands and appearing to be a couple that compromised his comfort. Even now, he still liked the idea that this was more than just fucking was a secret.

"Let's go inside. We can do that other stuff you like so much," he smirked, a devilish glint in his eye. For the tenderness and convention of the 'date', he kind of wanted to see what he could do to make it feel more like usual.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Sounds like a good way to end the night," Logan replied, grinning a little and then tugging Jack towards the hut.

"Just promise me it won't involve scented candles and rose petals. I think I've had my fill of romance for the night," he snorted, holding the door open and laughing as Linus came wandering out, the animal pausing only to sniff his owner before wandering off to do his business.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Oooh, but we haven't done candles yet," he pointed out, deftly undoing the top few buttons of his shirt. "And I've got so many since I don't need them to see at night anymore."

He turned away and looked on his shelves, pulling out a couple long candles of rolled sheets of wax and a box of matches. He lit them and waited for them to melt a little before he dripped wax onto a small board and then stood them up until the wax cooled and kept them in place.

When he turned to look at Logan again, he undid his belt and pulled it slowly from his waist.

"Take off your shirt."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan watched the other man for a long moment and then slowly acquiesced. He peeled his shirt off slowly, tossing it aside and then wandering closer.

"Candles, huh? What are you gonna do with those?" he asked curiously, reaching out to touch one as he deliberately brushed up against the other man and leaned in to kiss his cheek. "Candles don't really sound too thrilling, Jack," he whispered, his lips against the other man's ear as he spoke.

Pulling back, he flashed a teasing smirk.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Thought I'd tie you up and burn you," he replied, so cool and quiet it was impossible to tell if he was serious. He ignored the candles for the moment, letting the belt in his hand fall to the floor so he could press both hands against Logan's back.

"Nothing my nano-thingies can't fix, right? Nothing that would leave any marks." His fingers purposefully traced a scar, not stopping until he reached one of the circular burns.

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

Logan went tense, though he didn't pull away, clearly forcing himself not to react. He wanted to give Jack what he wasn't giving anyone else. He wanted to prove he felt safe, and that he trusted the other man never to go too far.

So he went still, but didn't protest, his hands shaking a little until he finally forced them to stop.

"Right," he agreed, his eyes never leaving Jack's.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack licked his lips and pulled Logan along with him, closer to the bed. When he finally let go, it was only to fetch a length of rope. He looped it and dropped it over Logan's head, tightening it around the man's neck, then using the end of it to bind his wrists together.

"If you behave, I'll make you come so hard you can't see. If you fight me or cry out, I will punish you."

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

It was the second time Jack had deliberately put rope around his neck, and it didn't go noticed as he remained still and let the other man bind his wrists as well.

"Fine," Logan replied simply, twisting his wrists a little in their bonds, and silently waiting for Jack to continue.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Stepping around Logan, he encircled his waist and undid his jeans, sliding them down off his hips along with his underwear. Legs still covered but with his ass exposed, Jack took a step back before he picked up the belt. The leather whispered as he drew it across his palm and the buckle clinked quietly.

"How come you don't have any scars on your ass, Logan?"

[echolls-cursed.livejournal.com]

"Jack," Logan said quietly, his voice a timid warning as he swallowed hard. "What happened to candles and all that shit?" he asked, willing to take nearly anything Jack could throw at him. ...So long as it didn't involve the other man's belt.